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Muddle Skating 1675 This is a transcribed copy for the episode "Car Wash." Feel free to edit or add to this page as long as the information comes directly from the episode.
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UK Transcript[]

Mr. Men And Little Misses: The Mr. Men, The Mr. Men, The Mr. Men, The Mr. Men!

(Scene swaps to Mr. Tickle tickling lots of Mr. Men and Little Miss and goes all the way to Mr. Bump and Miss Whoops on a plane and tickles Miss Whoops causing Mr. Bump to fall into the "O" in the logo)

Mr. Bump: The Mr. Men Show!

(A big blue-grey screen comes up with "Car Wash" written on it, a car and a few soap bubbles, who created the episode underneath, and the sound of loud fans and splashing water are heard. The episode begins with Mr. Scatterbrain driving up to Mr. Grumpy. Mr. Grumpy is wearing a turban)

Narrator: Much as the Mr. Men and Little Miss enjoy driving their cars...

(Mr. Grumpy blinks and Mr. Scatterbrain is transported to the car wash where his car is cleaned)

Narrator: They enjoy washing them even more!

(Mr. Scatterbrain drives out of the other end of the car wash where his car is clean and sparkling)

Narrator: Whether it's a trip through the Dillydale Drive-Through Car Wash...

(Little Miss Naughty and Mr. Bump are shown cleaning a car the old fashioned way)

Narrator: Or the old fashioned bucket of soap...

(Little Miss Naughty sprays Mr. Bump offscreen with the hose)

Narrator: There's no end to the length the Mr. Men and Little Misses will go..

(Mr. Bump takes a sponge that he was using to clean the car out of his mouth. Suddenly, Mr. Happy drives by in a steamroller and runs over Mr. Bump. Mr. Bump is quick to recover from that)

Narrator: For a clean car!

(The screen fades to black and the screen transitions to the first scene. Mr. Strong and Mr. Bump are outside a car wash. Mr. Strong is telling Mr. Bump all about it)

Mr. Strong: Right! Meet the Suds-o-System 3000, Mr. Bump!

(The viewers get a close-up of the Suds-o-System 3000)

Mr. Strong (offscreen): This machine could clean 40 cars a an hour!

Mr. Bump: Oh...wow Mr. Strong, that sounds like quite a machine. Then why exactly do you need me?

Mr. Strong: Well someone's gotta work this thingy. You can't expect a machine to run on it's own, can you?

Mr. Bump: I suppose not.

(A buzzer sounds and the conveyor belt leading into the car wash turns on. The buzzer briefly startles Mr. Bump)

Mr. Bump: Oh!

Mr. Strong: Okay! Here comes your first car! Now, I need you to take that soap gun over there and spray the car down with soap as it passes by!

(A car passes by on the conveyor belt)

Mr. Strong: Make sure it's really soapy! And the Suds-o-System will do the rest!

(Mr. Bump sprays the car down with soap and the car enters the car wash)

Mr. Bump: Well, this is easy enough!

Mr. Strong: I knew you could handle it! I'll be mixing up some more car wax if you need me.

(Mr. Strong walks away. The buzzer sounds again and another car passes by on the conveyor belt)

Mr. Bump: Hmmm...

(Mr. Bump sprays the car down with soap)

Mr. Bump: Tag, you're it! (giggles)

(The buzzer sounds again and another car passes by on the conveyor belt. Mr. Bump sprays the car down with soap as the car passes by)

Mr. Bump: Gotcha! Thought you could sneak up on me then, did you?

(The buzzer sounds again and another car passes by on the conveyor belt)

Mr. Bump: Now listen here, chummy! When I say draw, draw!

(Mr. Bump sprays the car down with soap)

Mr. Bump: I win!

(The buzzer sounds again and another car passes by on the conveyor belt)

Mr. Bump: Now I have one squirt of soap left in this gun!

(The buzzer sounds again)

Mr. Bump: Do you feel lucky?

(Mr. Bump sprays the car down with soap and the car enters the car wash)

Mr. Bump: Hey! (giggles)

(Mr. Bump wipes his face with his wrist)

Mr. Bump: Huh, this is the first job I've had where there's no chance of me getting hurt!

(As soon as the words passed Mr. Bump's lips, a claw comes out of the car wash, and picks up Mr. Bump)

Mr. Bump: Ah! Ooh!

(The claw drags Mr. Bump through the car wash)

Mr. Bump: Poopity poop!

(Mr. Bump is sprayed with cold water)

Mr. Bump: Oh! Ah! Oh! Ow! Hot! Hot!

(A soap bubble gets in Mr. Bump's eyes)

Mr. Bump: Ooh! Ah! My eyes! Soap in my eyes! Soap in my eyes!

(Mr. Bump goes through hot steam)

Mr. Bump: Ow! Ow! Oh, ow! Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! Ow! Oh!

(Tunnel brushes tickle Mr. Bump)

Mr. Bump: (laughs) Oh! Tickling! (laughs) That tickles!

(Mr. Bump goes through a stream of car wax and gets covered in it from head to toe)

Mr. Bump: Blech! Wax on!

(Mr. Strong is shown on the other side of the car wash. Mr. Bump comes out completely stiff from the wax)

Mr. Bump: Hmm...

Mr. Strong: Ah, so how are you getting along there, Mr. Bump?

Mr. Bump (struggles to speak): Having the time of my life! Thanks, Mr. Strong! Well I should be getting back to work.

(Mr. Bump waddles back to his position)

Mr. Strong: I wish all my workers were that good!

(Mr. Tickle comes up onto the screen and pulls down the first bumper. The bumper shows Mr. Quiet driving into the car wash. Sound effects are heard as Mr. Quiet drives through the car wash. When Mr. Quiet comes out on the other side, Mr. Quiet shown riding an elephant with Mr. Scatterbrain. Mr. Scatterbrain is wearing swim fins, goggles, and a snorkel. Once he realized what happened, Mr. Quiet gives a puzzled look to the viewers due to the change. Mr. Bump is shown riding a wave across the screen)

Mr. Bump: (screaming)

(The giant wave acts as the transition to the next scene. The next scene shows Mr. Pernickety washing his car the old fashioned way with with a bucket and some soap)

Mr. Pernickety: (humming)

(Mr. Messy pops up from behind some nearby bushes. Startling Mr. Persnickety)

Mr. Messy: Hiya, Mr. Pernickety!

Mr. Pernickety: Oh!

Mr. Messy: What are you doing?

Mr. Pernickety: What does it look like, Mr. Messy? Here's a sponge, a bucket...

Mr. Messy: Uh...

Mr. Pernickety: A car, and some soap!

Mr. Messy: I have no idea!

Mr. Pernickety: I'm washing my car.

Mr. Messy: Really?

Mr. Pernickety: Yes, really!

Mr. Messy: Why would anyone wash a car? I mean, you're just gonna leave it outside where it's gonna get dirty.

(Mr. Pernickety resumes cleaning his car)

Mr. Pernickety: I enjoy a clean, sparkling car.

Mr. Messy: Wow! Next you'll be washing your hedge, and your fence!

(Mr. Pernickety stops cleaning his car again)

Mr. Pernickety: I just may do that. Now if you don't mind?

(Mr. Messy walks away)

Mr. Messy: Okay. See ya!

(Mr. Pernickety resumes washing his car again)

Mr. Pernickety: Oh! That man knows just how to upset me!

Pelicans (offscreen): (squawking)

Mr. Pernickety: Hmm?

(Three pelicans fly in from the right and poop on Mr. Pernickety's car as they fly by)

Pelicans: (squawking)

Mr. Pernickety: Oh!

Pelicans: (squawking)

Mr. Pernickety: Oh!

Pelicans: (squawking)

Mr. Pernickety: Oh! my perfectly clean car! Why did those pelicans have to poop on my pride and joy?

Mr. Messy (offscreen): See? What did I tell ya?

(The camera zooms out to reveal that Mr. Messy brought Mr. Lazy over to show Mr. Lazy that Mr. Pernickety washing his car)

Mr. Lazy: Wow! How's he got the energy?

Mr. Pernickety: Hello, Mr. Lazy. Can I help you with something?

Mr. Lazy: No. Just watching.

Mr. Messy: I told Mr. Lazy you were washing your car. He wanted to see for himself!

Mr. Lazy: I don't get why you'd put all that effort into cleaning when it's just gonna get dirty all over again.

Mr. Pernickety: Well...

(Mr. Persnickety picks up the hose, turns it on, and uses it to spray his car with water)

Mr. Pernickety: Some people take pride in their cleanliness. While others take pride in their filth!

Mr. Messy: That's what I'm talking about!

Mr. Pernickety: Will you both please let me get back to my cleaning? Unless, of course, you want to lend a hand.

Mr. Messy and Mr. Lazy: Uh...

(Mr. Messy and Mr. Lazy run away in fear)

Mr. Pernickety: Sometimes I think I'm the only one in Dillydale with any sense! Now, where did I put my favorite chamois?

(Two penguins with sardines in their mouths jump onto Mr. Pernickety's car)

Mr. Pernickety: Sweet apple strudel! Penguins!

Penguins: (greeting sounds)

(The penguins clap their flippers and drop the sardines from their mouths)

Mr. Pernickety (offscreen): With sardines!

(The camera zooms out to show Mr. Pernickety very distraught)

Mr. Pernickety: Not again! Shoo! Shoo! You hideous, tuxedoed beasts! Keep your silly little fish to yourselves!

(The penguins slide down Mr. Pernickety's car and offscreen. The camera zooms out to reveal that Mr. Messy and Mr. Lazy have returned and brought Mr. Small and Mr. Nosey with them)

Mr. Messy: See? What did I tell ya?

Mr. Small: Great McGillicuddy, you're right! He's washing it by hand!

Mr. Nosey: Oh, Mr. Small! That's serious work!

Mr. Small: How true, Mr. Nosey. How true!

Mr. Pernickety: Don't you people have better things to do than stand there and watch someone clean their car?

Mr. Messy: Not really.

Mr. Nosey: Uh, Mr. Pernickety. Why don't you just go into town to the drive-through car wash? It's a lot easier!

Mr. Small: Not to mention thrilling!

Mr. Pernickety: Drive-through car wash? This car is a rare antique! And, as such, I treat it with the upmost of care!

(Little Miss Whoops shows up driving Mr. Rude's monster truck. Little Miss Whoops accidentally runs over Mr. Pernickety's car, much to Mr. Pernickety's surprise)

Mr. Pernickety: (shrieks)

Miss Whoops: Whoops! Sorry, Mr. Pernickety!

(Little Miss Whoops drives away)

Mr. Pernickety: (gasps) My car is FLATTENED! SPLATTENED!

Mr. Small: Look on the bright side, Mr. Pernickety. Now there's less to clean!

(Mr. Pernickety falls to his knees and begins to cry)

Mr. Pernickety: (sobs) "Cleaning is my life!" (sobs)

(Mr. Small, Mr. Nosey, Mr. Lazy, and Mr. Messy leave and Mr. Pernickety continues to cry over his destroyed car. Mr. Stubborn is shown resisting the transition to the next bumper as the next bumper slides onto the screen. The bumper shows Mr. Quiet driving into the car wash. As he drives through, Mr. Quiet's car starts up and drives away without Mr. Quiet upon exiting the car wash. Mr. Quiet immediately runs after his car. Then, TV static appears on the screen and transitions to "Driving with Miss Calamity." The intro music plays and the logo appears on the screen. Then the scene transitions to Little Miss Calamity driving in her car with Mr. Rude as her passenger)

Miss Calamity: Hello! And welcome to another addition of "Driving with Miss Calamity!" The weekly show where I take you on a guided tour to one of my favorite places! With me today is my good friend, Mr. Rude!

(Mr. Rude turns to the viewers)

Mr. Rude: I am not your good friend!

Miss Calamity: Such a joker! (giggles) Well, today I'll be taking us to the Dillydale Drive-Through Car Wash! What makes a drive-through car wash so great, it's that you you never have to leave the car!

Mr. Rude: You mean...I am trapped in here with you!?

Miss Calamity: (chuckles nervously) It's only for a few minutes, Mr. Rude. You can hardly call that trapped!

Mr. Rude: Speak for yourself.

(Little Miss Calamity drives up to the car wash)

Miss Calamity: Now, the most important thing to remember...

(Mr. Nosey is shown operating the car wash and waves hi to the viewers)

Mr. Nosey: Hey!

Miss Calamity: Whenever you go to the car wash, is to close your windows tightly! That's where electric windows come in handy!

(Little Miss Calamity presses the button to close her car windows but the window's are unable to roll up and close)

Miss Calamity: Oh dear! I-I can't close the windows!

(Mr. Nosey pulls a lever towards him and the conveyor belt moves Little Miss Calamity's car into the car wash)

Miss Calamity: And there's no turning back!

(Little Miss Calamity's car enters the car wash)

Mr. Rude: Why did I ever agree to come with you?!

(Soapy water sprays down and into the car. Soaking Mr. Rude and Little Miss Calamity)

Mr. Rude (overlap): Blech! Oh!

Miss Calamity (overlap): Oh!

(Little Miss Calamity and Mr. Rude spit out the soapy water as it is sprayed into the car. The soapy water sprayers go away. Powerful jets of water spray down, left, and right into the car)

Miss Calamity (overlap): Oh!

Mr. Rude (overlap): Blech!

(Mr. Rude and Little Miss Calamity spit out the water as the water jets go away. The car continues going down the conveyor belt)

Miss Calamity: Normally, when the windows are closed...

(More soapy water sprays into the car)

Miss Calamity: Oh! These powerful jets will just wash away any dust...(coughs)…and dirt that may be on your car!

(The car pulls up to the tunnel brushes)

Miss Calamity: D'oh! My hair! Somebody get me a bathing cap!

(Little Miss Calamity's car exits the car wash. Mr. Rude and Little Miss Calamity are completely soaked and Little Miss Calamity's car flooded)

Miss Calamity: What a calamity!

Mr. Rude: You buffoon!

Miss Calamity: And there you have it! Another fantastic trip through the car wash!

Mr. Rude: I'll give you fantastic! Ha-ha!

(Mr. Rude farts (the sound effect is heard faintly) and bubbles burst above the water)

Miss Calamity: Ooh!

(The Angry Heads appear)

Angry Heads: MR. RUDE!!

(The scene cuts back to Mr. Rude and Little Miss Calamity. Mr. Rude opens the car door and walks away. This, in turn, allows all the water that got into Little Miss Calamity's car to flow out)

Miss Calamity: Well, that's it for today! Join me next week when we'll take a trip along the Dillydale Mountain Range on "Driving with Miss Calamity!"

(The outro music plays and the logo for "Driving with Miss Calamity" appears on the screen to end the segment. Paper appears on the screen and a pencil draws Mr. Happy and fills him in with yellow paint. The drawing comes to life and Mr. Happy waves to the viewers watching at home. The paper goes away as the next bumper begins. The bumper shows Mr. Quiet driving into the car wash. When Mr. Quiet comes out on the other side, Mr. Quiet is driving an electric scooter instead of his car. Mr. Quiet looks down in bewilderment over the change)

Mr. Grumpy: Hello, Mr. Scatterbrain. Welcome to The Genie-in-a-Bottle Car Wash, where your wish is my command.

(Mr. Scatterbrain pokes his head through the open car window)

Mr. Scatterbrain: Hello, Mr. Grumpy! I like your hat!

Mr. Grumpy: It's a turban. I'm a genie.

Mr. Scatterbrain: Nobody told me we had genies in Dillydale!

Mr. Grumpy: We don't!

(Mr. Grumpy facepalms himself)

Mr. Grumpy: This is my uniform for work! Now what can we do for you today, Mr. Scatterbrain?

Mr. Scatterbrain: I'd like my car washed.

Mr. Grumpy: Is that all?

Mr. Scatterbrain: Isn't that enough?

Mr. Grumpy: Here at The Genie-in-a-Bottle Car Wash, we can change your oil, fix a bumper, even apply a new coat of paint.

Mr. Scatterbrain: Well, in that case, I would like a new paint job! Maybe something with polka-dots! (chuckles)

Mr. Scatterbrain (whispers): That way, you won't notice when it gets really dirty. (chuckles)

Mr. Grumpy: Your wish is my command!

Mr. Scatterbrain: So...you really are a genie!

Mr. Grumpy: No! This is just a job!

Mr. Scatterbrain: Mr. Grumpy, being a genie is nothing to be embarrassed about!

Mr. Scatterbrain (whispers): Somebody has to do it.

Mr. Grumpy: I am not a real genie! Now, will that be all?

Mr. Scatterbrain: Well, let's see. My first wish was for the wash, my second wish was for the polka dots, hmm...for my third wish, I'd like a hamster! To keep me company on long drives!

Mr. Grumpy: We don't sell hamsters! (grunts)

Mr. Scatterbrain: Then how about something that smells like a hamster?

Mr. Grumpy: Humph!

(Mr. Grumpy walks away and returns with a pair of fuzzy dice)

Mr. Grumpy: Here! Take these fuzzy dice!

(Mr. Scatterbrain takes the fuzzy dice from Mr. Grumpy and sniffs them)

Mr. Scatterbrain: They smell like tangerines. Are you sure you can't make fuzzy dice that smell like hamster?

Mr. Grumpy: Yes. I'm sure.

Mr. Scatterbrain: And all this time, I thought a genie could do anything!

(Mr. Scatterbrain remembers something)

Mr. Scatterbrain: I just remembered! I left my waffle iron plugged in! I won't be needing the wash and paint job today. (chuckles) But I'll keep the dice, if that's okay. Toodle-oo!

(Mr. Scatterbrain drives away)

Mr. Grumpy: Times like this, I wish I was a genie.

(Mr. Grumpy facepalms himself again. Suddenly, Mr. Scatterbrain show up and gives Mr. Grumpy a kiss on the cheek. Much to Mr. Grumpy's disgust)

Mr. Grumpy: (groans in disgust)

(Mr. Scatterbrain runs off again)

Mr. Grumpy: Humph!

(The scene fades to the ending scene with some previous happenings from the episode. Starting with Little Miss Whoops running over Mr. Persnickety's car with Mr. Rude's truck)

Narrator: And so it is, that with a little soap...

(Mr. Quiet comes out of the car wash on top of his car and a squid driving his car)

Narrator: A sponge...

(Mr. Strong is shown with a wax-covered Mr. Bump)

Narrator: And a dab of wax...

(The camera zooms in on Mr. Bump)

Narrator: Sometimes, a little too much wax.

(The camera shows Mr. Scatterbrain, and Little Miss Calamity and Mr. Rude driving in their clean cars)

Narrator: The good people of Dillydale proudly drive off in their sparkling clean cars!

(The screen fades to black and the episode ends)

Deleted Scene[]


US Transcript[]

Mr. Men And Little Misses: The Mr. Men, The Mr. Men, The Mr. Men, The Mr. Men!

(Scene swaps to Mr. Tickle tickling lots of Mr. Men and Little Miss and goes all the way to Mr. Bump and Miss Whoops on a plane and tickles Miss Whoops causing Mr. Bump to fall into the "O" in the logo)

Mr. Bump: The Mr. Men Show!

(A big blue-gray screen comes up with "Car Wash" written on it, a car and a few soap bubbles, who created the episode underneath, and the sound of loud fans and splashing water are heard)

(The episode begins with Mr. Scatterbrain driving up to Mr. Grumpy. Mr. Grumpy is wearing a turban)

Narrator: For as much as the Mr. Men and Little Miss enjoy driving their cars...

(Mr. Grumpy blinks and Mr. Scatterbrain is transported to the car wash where his car is cleaned)

Narrator: They enjoy washing them even more! Whether it's a trip through the Dillydale Drive-Through Car Wash...

(Little Miss Naughty and Mr. Bump are shown cleaning a car the old fashioned way)

Narrator: Or the old fashioned bucket of soap...

(Little Miss Naughty sprays Mr. Bump offscreen with the hose)

Narrator: There's no end to the length the Mr. Men and Little Misses will go..

(Mr. Bump takes a sponge that he was using to clean the car out of his mouth. Suddenly, Mr. Happy drives by in a steamroller and runs over Mr. Bump. Mr. Bump is quick to recover from that)

Narrator: For a clean automobile!

(The screen fades to black and the screen transitions to the first scene. Mr. Strong and Mr. Bump are outside a car wash. Mr. Strong is telling Mr. Bump all about it)

Mr. Strong: Eh-yo, this is the Suds-o-System 3000, Mr. Bump!

(The viewers get a close-up of the Suds-o-System 3000)

Mr. Strong (offscreen): This machine could clean 40 cars a an hour!

Mr. Bump: Eh...gee Mr. Strong, that sounds like quite a machine. Then why exactly do you need me?

Mr. Strong: Well someone's gotta work this baby. You can't expect a machine to run on it's own, can you?

Mr. Bump: I guess not.

(A buzzer sounds and the conveyor belt leading into the car wash turns on. The buzzer briefly startles Mr. Bump)

Mr. Strong: Okay! Here comes your first car, Mr. Bump! Now, I need you to take that soap gun over there and spray the car down with soap as it passes by!

(A car passes by on the conveyor belt)

Mr. Strong: Make sure it's good and soapy! And the Suds-o-System 3000 will do the rest!

(Mr. Bump sprays the car down with soap and the car enters the car wash)

Mr. Bump: Well, this is easy enough!

Mr. Strong: I knew you could handle it! I'll be mixing up a new batch of car wax if you need me.

(Mr. Strong walks away. The buzzer sounds again and another car passes by on the conveyor belt. Mr. Bump sprays the car down with soap)

Mr. Bump: Tag, you're it! (giggles)

(The buzzer sounds again and another car passes by on the conveyor belt. Mr. Bump sprays the car down with soap as the car passes by)

Mr. Bump: Gotcha! Thought you could sneak up on me, did ya?

(The buzzer sounds again and another car passes by on the conveyor belt)

Mr. Bump: Now listen here, partner! When I say draw, draw!

(Mr. Bump sprays the car down with soap)

Mr. Bump: I win! (chuckles)

(The buzzer sounds again and another car passes by on the conveyor belt)

Mr. Bump: Now I have one squirt of soap left in this gun!

(The buzzer sounds again)

Mr. Bump: Do you feel lucky?

(Mr. Bump sprays the car down with soap and the car enters the car wash)

Mr. Bump: Hey! (giggles and snorts) Ah, this is the first job I've had where there's no chance of getting hurt!

(As soon as the words passed Mr. Bump's lips, a claw comes out of the car wash, and picks up Mr. Bump)

Mr. Bump: Ow!

(The claw drags Mr. Bump through the car wash)

Mr. Bump: Poopity poop!

(Mr. Bump is sprayed with cold water)

Mr. Bump: Ooh! Cold! Cold!

(A soap bubble gets in Mr. Bump's eyes)

Mr. Bump: Ow! Soap in my eyes! Ah! Soap in my eyes!

(Mr. Bump goes through hot steam)

Mr. Bump: Ow! Hot! Oh, hot! Ooh! Oh! Ah!

(Tunnel brushes tickle Mr. Bump)

Mr. Bump: (laughs) Hey! That tickles!

(Mr. Bump goes through a stream of car wax and gets covered in it from head to toe)

Mr. Bump: Yuck! Wax!

(Mr. Strong is shown on the other side of the car wash. Mr. Bump comes out completely stiff from the wax)

Mr. Strong: Uh, yo, so how ya doing so far Mr. Bump?

Mr. Bump (struggles to speak): Having the time of my life! Thanks, Mr. Strong! Well I should get back to work.

(Mr. Bump waddles back to his position)

Mr. Strong: I wish all my workers were that good!

(Mr. Tickle comes up onto the screen and pulls down the first bumper. The bumper shows Mr. Quiet driving into the car wash. Sound effects are heard as Mr. Quiet drives through the car wash. When Mr. Quiet comes out on the other side, Mr. Quiet shown riding an elephant with Mr. Scatterbrain. Mr. Scatterbrain is wearing swim fins, goggles, and a snorkel. Once he realized what happened, Mr. Quiet gives a puzzled look to the viewers due to the change. Mr. Bump is shown riding a wave across the screen to transition to the next scene. The next scene shows Mr. Persnickety washing his car the old fashioned way with with a bucket and some soap)

Mr. Persnickety: (humming)

(Mr. Messy pops up from behind some nearby bushes. Startling Mr. Persnickety)

Mr. Messy: Hiya, Mr. Persnickety! Whatcha doing?

Mr. Persnickety: What does it look like, Mr. Messy? Here's a sponge, a bucket, a car, some soap!

Mr. Messy: I have no idea!

Mr. Persnickety: I'm washing my car.

Mr. Messy: For real?

Mr. Persnickety: Yes, for real!

Mr. Messy: Why would anyone wash a car? I mean, you're just gonna leave it outside where it's gonna get dirty.

(Mr. Persnickety resumes cleaning his car)

Mr. Persnickety: I enjoy a clean, sparkling car.

Mr. Messy: Gee. Next you'll be washing your shrubs, and your fence!

(Mr. Pernickety stops cleaning his car again)

Mr. Persnickety: I just may do that. Now if you don't mind?

(Mr. Messy walks away)

Mr. Messy: Okay. See ya!

(Mr. Pernickety resumes washing his car again)

Mr. Persnickety: Oh! That man knows just how to upset me!

Pelicans (offscreen): (squawking)

(Three pelicans fly in from the right and poop on Mr. Persnickety's car as they fly by)

Pelicans: (squawking)

Mr. Persnickety: Oh! my perfectly clean car! Why did those pelicans have to choose now to flock to the sea?

Mr. Messy (offscreen): See? What'd I tell ya?

(The camera zooms out to reveal that Mr. Messy brought Mr. Lazy over to show Mr. Lazy that Mr. Persnickety washing his car)

Mr. Lazy: Woah! Who has the energy?

Mr. Persnickety: Hello, Mr. Lazy. Can I help you with something?

Mr. Lazy: No. Just watching.

Mr. Messy: I told Mr. Lazy you were washing your car. He wanted to see for himself!

Mr. Lazy: I don't get why you'd put all that effort into cleaning when it's just gonna get dirty all over again.

Mr. Persnickety: Well...

(Mr. Persnickety picks up the hose, turns it on, and uses it to spray his car with water)

Mr. Persnickety: Some people take pride in cleanliness. While others take pride in their filth!

Mr. Messy: Now that's what I'm talking about!

Mr. Persnickety: Will you both please...let me get back to my cleaning? Unless, of course, you want to lend a hand.

(Mr. Messy and Mr. Lazy run away in fear)

Mr. Persnickety: Sometimes I think I'm the only one in Dillydale with any sense! Now, where did I put that towel?

(Two penguins with sardines in their mouths jump onto Mr. Persnickety's car)

Mr. Persnickety: Sweet Henrietta! Penguins!

Penguins: (greeting sounds)

(The penguins clap their flippers and drop the sardines from their mouths)

Mr. Persnickety: And sardines! Shoo! Uh, shoo you hideous, tuxedoed beasts! Keep your silly little fish to yourselves!

(The penguins slide down Mr. Persnickety's car and offscreen. The camera zooms out to reveal that Mr. Messy and Mr. Lazy have returned and brought Mr. Small and Mr. Nosey with them)

Mr. Messy: See? What'd I tell ya?

Mr. Small: Great McGillicuddy, you're right! He's washing it by hand!

Mr. Nosey: Boy, Mr. Small! That's serious work!

Mr. Small: How true, Mr. Nosey. How true!

Mr. Persnickety: Don't you people have better things to do than stand there and watch someone clean their car?

Mr. Messy: Not really.

Mr. Nosey: Uh, Mr. Persnickety. Why don't you just go downtown to the drive-through car wash? It's a lot easier!

Mr. Small: Not to mention thrilling!

Mr. Persnickety: Drive-through car wash? This car is a rare antique! And, as such, I treat it with the upmost of care!

(Little Miss Whoops shows up driving Mr. Rude's monster truck. Little Miss Whoops accidentally runs over Mr. Persnickety's car, much to Mr. Persnickety's surprise)

Miss Whoops: Whoops! Sorry, Mr. Persnickety!

(Little Miss Whoops drives away)

Mr. Persnickety: MY CA-! (stammer)! FENDERS BENT! (stammer)

Mr. Small: Look on the bright side, Mr. Persnickety. Now there's less to clean!

(Mr. Persnickety falls to his knees and begins to cry)

Mr. Persnickety: (sobs) Leave me to grief (sobs)

(Mr. Small, Mr. Nosey, Mr. Lazy, and Mr. Messy leave and Mr. Persnickety continues to cry over his destroyed car. Mr. Stubborn is shown resisting the transition to the next bumper as the next bumper slides onto the screen. The bumper shows Mr. Quiet driving into the car wash. As he drives through, Mr. Quiet's car starts up and drives away without Mr. Quiet upon exiting the car wash. Mr. Quiet immediately runs after his car. Then, TV static appears on the screen and transitions to "Driving with Miss Calamity." The intro music plays and the logo appears on the screen. Then the scene transitions to Little Miss Calamity driving in her car with Mr. Rude as her passenger)

Miss Calamity: Hello! And welcome to another addition of "Driving with Miss Calamity!" The weekly show where I take you on a guided tour to one of my favorite places! With me today is my good friend, Mr. Rude!

(Mr. Rude turns to the viewers)

Mr. Rude: I am not your good friend!

Miss Calamity: Such a kidder! Heh! Well today, I'll be taking us to the Dillydale Drive-Through Car Wash! What makes a drive-through car wash so great, is that you you never have to leave the car!

Mr. Rude: You mean...I am trapped in here with you!?

Miss Calamity: Heh. It's only for a few minutes, Mr. Rude. You can hardly call that trapped!

Mr. Rude: Speak for yourself.

(Little Miss Calamity drives up to the car wash)

Miss Calamity: Now the most important thing to remember whenever you go to the car wash, is to close your windows good and tight!

(Mr. Nosey is shown operating the car wash and waves hi to the viewers)

Miss Calamity: That's where power windows come in handy!

(Little Miss Calamity presses the button to close her car windows but the window's are unable to roll up and close)

Miss Calamity: Oh dear! I-I can't close the windows!

(Mr. Nosey pulls a lever towards him and the conveyor belt moves Little Miss Calamity's car into the car wash)

Miss Calamity: And there's no turning back!

(Little Miss Calamity's car enters the car wash)

Mr. Rude: Why did I ever agree to come with you?!

(Soapy water sprays down and into the car. Soaking Mr. Rude and Little Miss Calamity)

Mr. Rude (overlap): Blech! Oh!

Miss Calamity (overlap): Oh!

(Little Miss Calamity and Mr. Rude spit out the soapy water as it is sprayed into the car. Powerful jets of water spray down, left, and right into the car)

Mr. Rude: Blech!

(Mr. Rude spits out the water as the water jets go away. The car continues going down the conveyor belt)

Miss Calamity: Normally, when the windows are closed...

(More soapy water sprays into the car)

Miss Calamity: These powerful jets of water wash away any dust...(coughs)…and dirt that may be on your car!

(The car pulls up to the tunnel brushes)

Miss Calamity: No, my hair! Somebody get me a bathing cap!

(Little Miss Calamity's car exits the car wash. Mr. Rude and Little Miss Calamity are completely soaked and Little Miss Calamity's car flooded)

Miss Calamity: What a calamity!

Mr. Rude: You buffoon!

Miss Calamity: And there you have it! Another fantastic trip through the car wash!

Mr. Rude: I'll give you fantastic! Ha-ha!

(Mr. Rude farts (the sound effect is heard faintly) and bubbles burst above the water and the Angry Heads appear)

Angry Heads: MR. RUDE!!

(The scene cuts back to Mr. Rude and Little Miss Calamity. Mr. Rude opens the car door and walks away. This, in turn, allows all the water that got into Little Miss Calamity's car to flow out)

Miss Calamity: Well that's it for today! Join me next week when we'll take a trip along the Dillydale Mountain Range on "Driving with Miss Calamity!"

(The outro music plays and the logo for "Driving with Miss Calamity" appears on the screen to end the segment. Paper appears on the screen and a pencil draws Mr. Happy and fills him in with yellow paint. The drawing comes to life and Mr. Happy waves to the viewers watching at home. The paper goes away as the next bumper begins. The bumper shows Mr. Quiet driving into the car wash. When Mr. Quiet comes out on the other side, Mr. Quiet is driving an electric scooter instead of his car. Mr. Quiet looks down in bewilderment over the change)

(The next scene shows Mr. Nervous in a submarine. A few jellyfish float past him)

Mr. Nervous: I am now 20,000 leagues under the sea. To be honest, I have no clue how deep that really is!

(The submarine shakes and Mr. Nervous falls down)

Mr. Nervous: Oh!

(Mr. Nervous gets back up again)

Mr. Nervous: Oh! I've been hit! Something has rammed into the side of my craft! There appears to be no damage! Yet!!

(Three cuttlefish swim in front of Mr. Nervous' porthole)

Mr. Nervous: Oh! Thank goodness! It's only some harmless squid!

(The cuttlefishes see something and swim away in fear. Inking in the process)

Mr. Nervous: Oh dear!

(The ink clears and a giant squid is shown looking into the porthole)

Mr. Nervous: Something must have frightened them!

(Mr. Nervous sees the giant squid outside)

Mr. Nervous: GAH!!!

(The giant squid wraps its tentacles around the submarine)

Mr. Nervous: A giant squid! Go away! GO AWAY, YOU BIG, SCARY SEA CREATURE!!!

(The giant squid starts squishing the submarine)

Mr. Nervous: N-n-no! N-n-no! Don't! Don't look at me with those mean, hungry eyes!!

(The giant squid changes position and covers the front of the submarine)

Mr. Nervous: Geh! Oh! This is the end! I'll never see my beloved Dillydale again!

(The daydream sequence ends and it is revealed that Mr. Nervous is simply getting his car washed at Little Miss Scary's car wash with Mr. Small next in line and Little Miss Scary getting incredibly impatient)

Miss Scary: Come on, Mr. Nervous! You're holding up the whole line! Do you want us to wax your car or not?

(Mr. Nervous gets out of his car and runs away)

Mr. Nervous: (screams)

Miss Scary: Some people should never leave their house!

(The screen fades to black. The next scene shows Mr. Grumpy working at the Genie-in-a-Bottle Car Wash. Mr. Scatterbrain drives up in his car)

Mr. Grumpy: Hello, Mr. Scatterbrain. Welcome to The Genie-in-a-Bottle Car Wash where your wish is my command.

(Mr. Scatterbrain pokes his head through the open car window)

Mr. Scatterbrain: Hello, Mr. Grumpy! I like your hat!

Mr. Grumpy: It's a turban. I'm a genie.

Mr. Scatterbrain: Nobody told me we had genies in Dillydale!

(Mr. Grumpy facepalms himself)

Mr. Grumpy: We don't! This is my uniform for work! Now what can we do for you today, Mr. Scatterbrain?

Mr. Scatterbrain: I'd like my car washed.

Mr. Grumpy: Is that all?

Mr. Scatterbrain: Isn't that enough?

Mr. Grumpy: Here at The Genie-in-a-Bottle Car Wash, we can change your oil, fix a bumper, apply a new coat of paint...

Mr. Scatterbrain: Well in that case, I would like a new paint job! Maybe something with polka-dots! (chuckles)

Mr. Scatterbrain (whispers): That way, you won't notice when it gets really dirty. (chuckles)

Mr. Grumpy: Your wish is my command!

Mr. Scatterbrain: So...you really are a genie!

Mr. Grumpy: No! This is just a job!

Mr. Scatterbrain: Mr. Grumpy, being a genie is nothing to be embarrassed about!

Mr. Scatterbrain (whispers): Somebody has to do it.

Mr. Grumpy: I am NOT a real genie! Now, will that be all?

Mr. Scatterbrain: Well, let's see. My first wish was for the wash, my second wish was for the polka dots, hmm...for my third wish, I'd like a hamster! To keep me company on long drives!

Mr. Grumpy: We don't sell hamsters!

Mr. Scatterbrain: Then how about something that smells like a hamster?

(Mr. Grumpy walks away and returns with a pair of fuzzy dice)

Mr. Grumpy: Here! Take these fuzzy dice!

(Mr. Scatterbrain takes the fuzzy dice from Mr. Grumpy and sniffs them)

Mr. Scatterbrain: They smell like tangerines. Are you sure you can't make fuzzy dice that smell like hamster?

Mr. Grumpy: Yes. I'm sure.

Mr. Scatterbrain: And all this time, I thought a genie could do anything!

(Mr. Scatterbrain remembers something)

Mr. Scatterbrain: I just remembered! I left my waffle iron plugged in! I won't be needing the wash and paint job today. But I'll keep the dice, if that's okay. Toodle-oo!

(Mr. Scatterbrain drives away)

Mr. Grumpy: Times like this, I wish I was a genie.

(Mr. Grumpy facepalms himself again. Suddenly, Mr. Scatterbrain show up and gives Mr. Grumpy a kiss on the cheek before running off again. Much to Mr. Grumpy's disgust. The scene fades to the ending scene with some previous happenings from the episode. Starting with Little Miss Whoops running over Mr. Persnickety's car with Mr. Rude's truck)

Narrator: And so it is with a little soap...

(Mr. Quiet comes out of the car wash on top of his car and a squid driving his car)

Narrator: A sponge...

(Mr. Strong is shown with a wax-covered Mr. Bump)

Narrator: And a dab of wax...

(The camera zooms in on Mr. Bump)

Narrator: A-hem! Sometimes, a little too much wax.

(The camera shows Mr. Scatterbrain, and Little Miss Calamity and Mr. Rude driving in their clean cars)

Narrator: The good people of Dillydale proudly drive off in their sparkling clean cars!

(The screen fades to black and the episode ends)

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The Mr. Men Show Transcripts
Season 1 Physical | Boo-Boos (Doctors & Nurses in the UK; Hospitals in Australia) | Farm | Movies | Science | Lake | Books | Beach | Boats | Mall | Flying | Hobbies | Dance | Inventions | Fair | Camping | Amusement Park  | Trains | Paint | Fish | Adventure | Construction | Snow | Canned Goods | Jobs | Gardens | Collecting | Chores | Restaurants | Music | Full Moon | Night | Food | Bugs | Cooking | Rainy Day | Heatwave | Sleep | Yard Work (Lawns in the UK) | Parade | Games | Superstore | Hotel | Birthday | Car Wash | Wildlife | Dillydale Day | Cars | Sightseeing | The Dark | Circus | Ships
Season 2 Picnics | Driving | Outer Space | Clean Teeth | Airports | Shoes | Arts and Crafts | Game Shows | Garages | Eyeglasses | Toys | Reptiles | Hats | Robots | Parties | Up and Down | Dining Out | Gifts | Sun and Moon | Telephone | Seashore | Washing and Drying | Sneezes and Hiccups | Fruit | Radio | Supermarket | Skyscrapers | Cinema | Getting Around | Clocks | Post Office | Pets | Dance, Dance, Dance | Trees | Library | Pirates | Goo | Trains and Planes | Out to Sea | Next Door | Lunch | Machines | Home Improvement | Fairies and Gnomes | Birds | Bath and Bubbles | Sand and Surf | Parks | Surprises | Travel | Bad Weather | Pests
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