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This is a transcribed copy for the episode "Home Improvement." Feel free to edit or add to this page as long as the information comes directly from the episode. |
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UK Dub[]
Mr. Men and Little Miss: The Mr. Men, The Mr. Men, The Mr. Men, The Mr. Men!
(Scene swaps to Mr. Tickle tickling lots of Mr. Men and Little Misses and goes all the way to Mr. Bump and Miss Whoops on a plane and tickles Miss Whoops causing Mr. Bump to fall into the "O" in the logo)
Mr. Bump: The Mr. Men Show!
(A big orange screen comes up with "Home Improvement" written on it with the "ment" part of "Improvement" written on wood, Little Miss Helpful, a ladder, and who created the episode underneath. The sounds of hammering followed by a crash are heard)
Miss Helpful (voiceover): Just trying to be helpful!
(The episode begins with a wheel showing Mr. Bounce's house, Mr. Scatterbrain's house, and Mr. Rude's house. Several tools are shown as the border of the wheel)
Narrator: When it comes to home improvements,
(Someone places a wrench onto the center of the bolt and transitions the image of Mr. Bounce's house to Mr. Bounce. Mr. Bounce is wearing a toolbelt with a hammer next to him)
Narrator: Some Mr. Men and Little Misses...
(The unknown Mr. Man or Little Miss turns the wrench and transitions the image of Mr. Scatterbrain's house to Mr. Scatterbrain. Mr. Scatterbrain is wearing a toolbelt with an iron next to him)
Narrator: Aren't afraid to get out there,
(The unknown Mr. Man or Little Miss turns the wrench and transitions the image of Mr. Rude's house to Mr. Nervous. Mr. Nervous has a paintbrush next to him. The camera zooms out to show the whole wheel)
Narrator: And do the work themselves!
(The camera zooms in on Mr. Bounce's image and the unknown Mr. Man or Little Miss turns the wrench and transitions the image of Mr. Bounce to Mr. Bounce repairing the roof of his house)
Narrator: Whether it's repairing the roof,
(Mr. Bounce hammers a nail into the roof tile but is sent bouncing all around the roof before bouncing away. The unknown Mr. Man or Little Miss turns the wrench and transitions the scene to Mr. Scatterbrain adding a back porch to his house. The back porch is made up of all sorts of items from an umbrella, to a guitar, to a hat-rack)
Narrator: Adding on a porch,
(The unknown Mr. Man or Little Miss turns the wrench and transitions the scene to Mr. Nervous painting the inside of his house)
Narrator: Or redecorating the living room...
(The camera zooms out to reveal that Little Miss Scary is helping Mr. Nervous and has painted a self-portrait of herself scaring Mr. Nervous on the wall)
Mr. Nervous: (screams)
(Mr. Nervous runs away in fear. The unknown Mr. Man or Little Miss turns the wrench and transitions the scene to Mr. Happy trimming a hedge in his image with great speed)
Narrator: The good people of Dillydale are usually happy to do it themselves.
(Mr. Nervous runs into the frame. Mr. Nervous runs into the hedge and somehow remodels it into his own image. Much to Mr. Happy's disappointment. Mr. Nervous then flees the scene. Mr. Happy frowns)
Narrator: Of course,
(The unknown Mr. Man or Little Miss turns the wrench and transitions the scene to Mr. Grumpy's house. Mr. Grumpy drives up to his house and heads inside)
Narrator: There are those times when a home improvement is so large that it is best...
(Inside, Little Miss Chatterbox is shown drawing up some blueprints for Mr. Grumpy)
Narrator: To get others
Mr. Grumpy: Hmmm...
Narrator: To do the work.
(Mr. Grumpy walks over to Little Miss Chatterbox)
Mr. Grumpy: Well, I see you've drawn up the plans for my expansion. As I said, all I want is a SIMPLE back porch. A place where I can sit peacefully and not see any people!
(Mr. Grumpy shows Little Miss Chatterbox a small piece of paper with a crude drawing of his house with a small porch attached to it and a frowning sun above it on the paper)
Mr. Grumpy: Like this.
(The camera zooms in on the crude drawing)
Mr. Grumpy (offscreen): See? Nothing too fancy.
(Little Miss Chatterbox looks at the drawing)
Miss Chatterbox: That's looks great, Mr. Grumpy. Well, actually it's a bit boring.
(Mr. Grumpy's frowns in disbelief)
Mr. Grumpy: Hmm?
(Little Miss Chatterbox steps down from the drawing board)
Miss Chatterbox: Which is why I came up with something much better!
(Little Miss Chatterbox shows the blueprints for a castle that is really a huge expansion of Mr. Grumpy's house. The camera zooms in on the blueprints)
Mr. Grumpy (offscreen): Ey?
Miss Chatterbox (offscreen): Here's the moat and drawbridge and spiral staircase leading to the tower.
(The camera zooms out)
Miss Chatterbox: Nice touch, eh?
(Mr. Grumpy looks at the blueprints in disbelief before regaining composure)
Mr. Grumpy: Miss Chatterbox, those are plans for a castle!
Miss Chatterbox: I know.
(Little Miss Chatterbox rolls up the blueprints and heads for the door)
Miss Chatterbox: A castle is tons more exciting than an ordinary back porch.
(Little Miss Chatterbox hands Mr. Grumpy the blueprints)
Miss Chatterbox: It's even more exciting than a front porch.
Mr. Grumpy: You didn't think I would let you turn my house into a castle!
(Mr. Grumpy briefly looks at the blueprints)
Mr. Grumpy: Did you?
Miss Chatterbox: Well...
(Mr. Strong opens the door. Mr. Strong is shown wearing a hardhat)
Miss Chatterbox: Oh!
Mr. Strong: Uh, hey! Miss Chatterbox! Where do you want me to start digging the moat?
(Little Miss Chatterbox gives a slightly embarrassed grin)
Miss Chatterbox: I might have thought that.
(Little Miss Chatterbox runs outside and Mr. Strong closes the door)
Mr. Grumpy: Moat!?
(The camera shows the audience the blueprints for the castle. The camera fades from the blueprints to Mr. Grumpy's house being reconstructed into a castle. Little Miss Whoops is shown operating a crane. Mr. Quiet is shown holding a clipboard and is standing next to Little Miss Chatterbox. All three of them are wearing hardhats)
Miss Chatterbox: Start digging right over there, Miss Whoops.
Miss Whoops: Right-o!
(Little Miss Whoops starts lowering the jaws of the crane when Mr. Grumpy runs over to the three workers. Little Miss Whoops stops lowering the jaws of the crane when Mr. Grumpy shows up)
Mr. Grumpy: Hold on! There will be no digging!
Miss Chatterbox: But we have to dig to put in a moat! And it won't be a very good castle if it doesn't have a moat.
Mr. Grumpy: That's fine! Because I don't want a castle or a moat!
Mr. Quiet: Good thing. Because with a moat comes crocodiles!
(A truck full of crocodiles pulls up. Mr. Noisy is shown next to the truck and shows Mr. Quiet a clipboard with a paper to sign on it)
Mr. Noisy: Sign here for your crocodiles!
Mr. Quiet: Told you!
Mr. Grumpy: I don't want any crocodiles either! All I want is a simple back porch!
(Mr. Noisy walks over towards Mr. Grumpy)
Mr. Noisy: But nowadays all the best castles have moats and all moats have crocodiles.
(Despite the back of the truck being locked, two crocodiles manages to squeeze out of the truck and walk away)
Crocodiles: (snarling)
Mr. Quiet: Oh! Crocodiles on the loose!
(Mr. Quiet tries to signal Mr. Noisy, Little Miss Chatterbox, and Mr. Grumpy about the crocodiles but they fail to see his panicked reaction or the crocodiles)
Mr. Grumpy: I don't care what other castles have. This castle-I.....I...I mean this house does not need a moat!
Mr. Noisy: Search yourself.
(Mr. Noisy leaves)
Mr. Noisy: Enjoy your castle.
(Mr. Noisy drives away in the crocodile truck. Mr. Strong is revealed to have been behind the truck holding a drawbridge door and is shown when the truck drives away)
Miss Chatterbox: Forget the moat.
Mr. Grumpy: Hmm!
Miss Chatterbox: Mr. Strong, why don't you start building the tower?
Mr. Strong: Will do.
(Mr. Strong carries the drawbridge door to the front of the house)
Mr. Strong: (grunts)
(Mr. Strong places the drawbridge door in front of the original door. The drawbridge door then lowers (chains attached to it) and crushes one half of Mr. Grumpy's car. Splitting the car in half in the process)
Mr. Strong: Oh, pickles!
(Mr. Quiet covers his mouth in nervousness as Mr. Grumpy freaks out)
Mr. Grumpy; That drawbridge crushed my car.
(Little Miss Chatterbox starts thinking)
Miss Chatterbox: Hmm. It is a bit silly to have a drawbridge without a moat. (chuckles) Maybe we should add back the moat.
(The camera pans back over to Little Miss Whoops, who is still operating the crane)
Miss Whoops: Don't have to ask me twice!
(Little Miss Whoops starts operating the crane again. Little Miss Whoops accidentally causes the jaws to damage the roof of Mr. Grumpy's house and grab a port-a-loo)
Miss Whoops (offscreen): Whoops!
Mr. Grumpy: Stop!! You're destroying my house!!
(Little Miss Whoops struggles to control the jaws of the crane and ends up lifting the port-a-potty. She also accidentally causes it to swing and hit Mr. Grumpy's house)
Miss Whoops: Port-a-loo!
(Mr. Quiet, Little Miss Chatterbox, and Mr. Grumpy see the port-a-loo)
Miss Whoops (offscreen): Coming through.
Mr. Quiet, Mr. Grumpy, and Miss Chatterbox: (gasps)
(Mr. Grumpy and Little Miss Chatterbox duck just in time but the port-a-loo hits Mr. Quiet)
Mr. Grumpy: (yelps)
Mr. Quiet: (screams)
(Mr. Quiet falls off the port-a-loo)
Mr. Quiet: Woah!
(The jaws of the crane release the port-a-loo)
Miss Whoops (offscreen): Whoops!
(Little Miss Whoops looks at the viewers)
Miss Whoops: Again.
(Mr. Grumpy sees the port-a-loofalling down towards him)
Mr. Grumpy: (gasps)
(The port-a-loo lands on Mr. Grumpy)
Mr. Grumpy (from inside the port-a-loo): Crooked cucumbers! Somebody let me out of this thing!
(Mr. Grumpy bangs on the port-a-loo door)
Mr. Grumpy (from inside the port-a-loo): I'm in no mood to be held prisoner in a toilet!
(Mr. Grumpy continues banging on the port-a-loo door until he manages to open the door)
Mr. Grumpy: Miss Chatterbox?
(Mr. Grumpy walks out of the port-a-loo)
Mr. Grumpy: Uh, Mr. Strong?
(Mr. Grumpy notices his house offscreen)
Mr. Grumpy: (gasps)
(The camera zooms out to show Mr. Grumpy's house. Mr. Grumpy's house is now transformed into a castle)
Mr. Grumpy: It's grand, I'll give it that.
(Mr. Grumpy walks into his house and looks around)
Mr. Grumpy: Well, I supposed I could get used to this. Hmm, I wonder where she put my TV?
(The camera zooms out to reveal the two crocodiles that escaped earlier relaxing on Mr. Grumpy's arm chair, eating popcorn, and watching TV)
Mr. Grumpy: (gasps) Oh! Put that-! Oh! Put that--
(The crocodiles turn their heads to Mr. Grumpy and get angry
Mr. Grumpy: Whoa!
(Mr. Grumpy runs away as the crocodiles chase him)
Crocodiles: (roars)
(Mr. Grumpy runs up the five stairs of the tower as the crocodiles chase him)
Mr. Grumpy: (screams) Oh crooked crocodiles!!
(At the top of the tower, Mr. Grumpy calls out from the tower)
Mr. Grumpy: (screams) Miss Chatterbox!
Crocodiles (offscreen): (snarl)
(Mr. Grumpy uses the castle's blueprints to fend off the crocodiles as they snap their jaws at Mr. Grumpy)
Crocodiles (overlap): (roaring and snarling)
Mr. Grumpy (overlap): Come back here and get rid of these crocodiles!
(The camera zooms out to show Mr. Strong, Little Miss Chatterbox, Mr. Quiet, and Little Miss Whoops having a picnic on a hill. Little Miss Chatterbox, oblivious to what is happening to Mr. Grumpy due to him being very far away, waves to Mr. Grumpy)
Mr. Grumpy (from a distance): And make it snappy!
Miss Chatterbox: (giggles) Mr. Grumpy seems so happy! I knew a castle would be much better than a back porch.
(Everyone raises a glass of grape juice. Mr. Quiet and Little Miss Chatterbox clink their glasses. The camera zooms out to show the wheel. The unknown Mr. Man or Little Miss turns the wrench and transitions the still of Mr. Strong, Little Miss Chatterbox, Mr. Quiet, and Little Miss Whoops to the first bumper. A window in Mr. Quiet's house has a cracking the glass and needs replacing. Mr. Quiet shows Mr. Nervous, the handyman, the window. Mr. Nervous puts his toolbox down, opens it, and removes the broken glass pane. Mr. Nervous puts the broken glass into his toolbox and takes out a new one without a hole. Mr. Nervous places the new glass pane into the frame. Mr. Nervous then closes his toolbox up and sees his own reflection in the window)
Mr. Nervous: (screams)
(Mr. Nervous takes his toolbox and runs out the door. Mr. Nervous slams the door behind him and inadvertently causes the new pane to slightly shatter as a crack identical to the one in the old pane forms. Mr. Quiet frowns in disappointment over the hired help being for nothing. The screen fades to black. The next scene begins with Mr. Messy sitting in front of his messy paint-covered house. Mr. Messy is enjoying some pizza)
Narrator: Not all the Mr. Men and Little Misses want their homes to be improved.
(Mr. Messy takes a bite of pizza by his house. An unknown Mr. Man or Little Miss turns the wrench to transition the scene to Mr. Bump's house. An ambulance is pulling up in front of Mr. Bump's house)
Narrator: Just ask Mr. Bump, who who is eager to get back to his house,
Mr. Bump: Hmm...huh.
(The wrench turns again and Little Miss Helpful is shown leading Mr. Bump into his living room. Both of Mr. Bump's arms are in casts and Mr. Bump's eyes are wrapped with bandages)
Mr. Bump: (chuckles) Hmm.
Narrator: After a short stay in the hospital.
Miss Helpful: Are you sure you're gonna be okay, Mr. Bump?
Mr. Bump: Hmm?
(Mr. Bump turns around)
Mr. Bump: Positive, Miss Helpful. I got off pretty easy this time. Only a couple of broken arms and two sprained eyelids. I just have to keep my eyes wrapped for a week and I'll be as good as new.
Miss Helpful: Do you want me to make you some cabbage soup? Or organize your sock drawer?
Mr. Bump: No, I just need to rest quietly.
(Mr. Bump walks away)
Miss Helpful: But you can't see where you're going!
(Mr. Bump stops walking and addresses Little Miss Helpful)
Mr. Bump: Oh, I know my house so well, I can find my way around in the dark!
(Mr. Bump touches his face)
Mr. Bump: I know exactly where everything is! You see? Three steps to the sofa...
(Mr. Bump takes three steps to the sofa)
Mr. Bump: And two steps to the window!
(Mr. Bump takes two steps to the window. Mr. Bump leans on the arm of the sofa)
Mr. Bump: Pretty good, huh?
Miss Helpful: I am impressed! But are you sure you don't need my help?
Mr. Bump: I'll be fine. Thank you, Miss Helpful.
(Mr. Bump starts walking towards a doorway)
Mr. Bump: Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to take a nap.
(Mr. Bump leaves)
Miss Helpful: Maybe I should to tidy up? That would be a big help to Mr. Bump.
(Little Miss Helpful walks over to the sofa)
Miss Helpful: Hmm. I wonder what that sofa would look like slanted a tiny bit?
(Little Miss Helpful moves the sofa towards the window)
Miss Helpful: Now this will make a perfect spot for Mr. Bump and I to play drafts.
(Little Miss Helpful moves the table to in front of the sofa)
Miss Helpful: Just needs a table.
(Little Miss Helpful places a rug on the floor)
Miss Helpful: Nothing cozies up a room like a nice rug.
(Little Miss Helpful moves a fountain into the room)
Miss Helpful: Or a fountain.
(Little Miss Helpful positions a gong into the room)
Miss Helpful: Gongs are supposed to bring good luck!
(A montage of Little Miss Helpful rearranging Mr. Bump's house begins. On a green striped screen, Little Miss Helpful runs to the left holding a disco ball. Then she runs across the screen to the right holding a bowling ball. The scene transitions to a orange-yellow screen showing Little Miss Helpful running in place holding a potted plant. The scene transitions to a pink and purple rectangle on the top of the screen and a light and dark blue screen on the bottom of the screen. In the pink rectangle, Little Miss Helpful is running around with a green rug. In the blue rectangle, Little Miss Helpful is running around with a yellow rug in the opposite direction. The scene transition to a lilac background where Little Miss Helpful switches the places of a telephone and a cactus. Four rectangular stripes come across the screen in the pattern of white followed by orange. The white stripes come in from the left while the orange stripes come in from the right. The first white stripe shows Little Miss Helpful running across the screen to the left holding a radio. The first orange stripe shows Little Miss Helpful running across the screen to the right holding a vase full of flowers. The second white stripe shows Little Miss Helpful running across the screen to the left holding a cuckoo clock. The second orange stripe shows Little Miss Helpful running across the screen to the right holding what appears to be a sculpture. The screen splits in half. On the right side of the screen, Little Miss Helpful is running in place in front of a yellow background holding a fruit bowl over her head. On the left side of the screen, Mr. Bump is shown asleep in bed oblivious to all the changes Little Miss Helpful is doing to his living room. The two sides of the screen transition away and reveal Little Miss Helpful standing in front of a blue background with chairs circling her head as she looks at the chairs in excitement. In the upper right corner in a purple square, Little Miss Helpful sets down a small wooden, circular chair. In the upper left corner in a pink square, Little Miss Helpful sets down a cream colored vase. In the lower right corner in a pink square, Little Miss Helpful sets down some books. In the lower left corner in a purple square, Little Miss Helpful sets down a cactus. The montage ends with a proud Little Miss Helpful standing in the middle of the room. The room has been completely transformed. Several knickknacks in the room and everything has been moved around)
Miss Helpful: Mr. Bump is going to love it!
(Little Miss Helpful gets another idea)
Miss Helpful: I think that wall needs a great big stuffed fish.
(Little Miss Helpful leaves to get a stuffed fish. The noise of the door opening and closing wakes up Mr. Bump)
Mr. Bump: Oh!
(Curious, Mr. Bump heads to the living room to figure out what Little Miss Helpful is up to)
Mr. Bump: Miss Helpful?
(Mr. Bump walks into the room
Mr. Bump: Huh. Hmmm. Huh.
(Mr. Bump ends up crashing into something due to the rearrangement of the room)
Mr. Bump (offscreen): Ow! Oh!
(Mr. Bump is shown in a twisted mess)
Mr. Bump: Ow!
(The camera zooms out to reveal the sofa, now upside-down and the cushions on the floor due to Mr. Bump crashing into it)
Mr. Bump: Huh? I don't remember the sofa being so close to the door.
(Mr. Bump stands back up)
Mr. Bump: (grunts)
(Mr. Bump keeps walking around)
Mr. Bump: Hmm...
(Mr. Bump crashes into another something offscreen)
Mr. Bump (offscreen): Ah!
(Another montage plays. This time showing Mr. Bump getting hurt thanks to all the rearrangements Little Miss Helpful done. On a green striped screen, Mr. Bump hops across the screen from the left holding his foot in pain as one of the toes on his left foot has swollen up red due to stubbing it)
Mr. Bump: Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!
(The scene transitions to a orange-yellow screen showing Mr. Bump running around aimlessly towards the viewers as he has no idea where anything is anymore)
Mr. Bump: Ow! Ow! Ow!
(The scene transitions to a pink and purple rectangle on the top of the screen and a light and dark blue screen on the bottom of the screen. In the pink rectangle, Mr. Bump is sliding across the screen on the green rug. In the blue rectangle, Mr. Bump is running around with a yellow rug in the opposite direction)
Both Mr. Bumps: (screams)
(The scene transition to a lilac background where Mr. Bump is by the table where the cactus and telephone are. The telephone rings but due to the switch, Mr. Bump ends up picking up the cactus instead of the telephone)
Mr. Bump: Ah! P'ah!
(Four rectangular stripes come across the screen in the pattern of white followed by orange. The white stripes come in from the left while the orange stripes come in from the right. The first white stripe shows Mr. Bump flopping across the screen to the left as if he had just been hit by something. The first orange stripe shows Mr. Bump flopping across the screen to the right as if he had just been hit by something. Both actions happen on the lower orange and white stripes as well)
Mr. Bumps: Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!
(The screen splits in half. On the right side of the screen, there is a gong in front of a yellow background. On the left side of the screen, Mr. Bump bounces in front of a blue background before crashing into the gong)
Mr. Bump: Ow! (moans dizzily)
(The two sides of the screen transition away and reveal Mr. Bump standing in front of a blue background with stars circling his head due to all the injuries and dazes caused by the changes made to the living room) (In the upper right corner in a purple square, Mr. Bump falls down to the ground. In the upper left corner in a pink square, Mr. Bump also falls down to the ground. In the lower right corner in a pink square, Mr. Bump also falls down to the ground again. In the lower left corner in a purple square, Mr. Bump also falls down to the ground one more time)
Mr. Bump: Hmm!
(The montage ends with Mr. Bump sitting in the fountain soaking wet with two fishes flopping on his head)
Mr. Bump: (yells in frustration)
(The room is now a total wreck due to Mr. Bump crashing into everything and all the items placed in the room)
Mr. Bump: Hey, something fishy is going on around here!
(Mr. Bump gets out of the fountain, still soaking wet, and stands behind a chair)
Mr. Bump: I'll just sit in my chair.
(Mr. Bump sits down in the chair next to the fountain)
Mr. Bump: Until morning.
(Little Miss Helpful returns with a stuffed swordfish with a sharp nose. The nose sparkles to show how sharp it is. Little Miss Helpful sees the wrecked room and Mr. Bump sitting in the chair)
Miss Helpful: Mr. Bump! You're not supposed to unwrap your eyes!
(Little Miss Helpful walks further into the room and ends up getting the swordfish close to the disco ball that's still hanging from the ceiling)
Miss Helpful (offscreen): You could sprain your eyelids all over again.
(The sharp nose of the swordfish cuts the rope that's hanging the disco ball from the ceiling. The disco ball ends up falling onto Mr. Bump)
Mr. Bump (offscreen): Ow!
(Mr. Bump pulls himself up while still trapped underneath the disco ball. The bandages around Mr. Bump's eyes end up coming off and Mr. Bump squints his eyes in pain)
Mr. Bump (in pain): Too late.
(The camera zooms out to show the wrecked room)
Miss Helpful: Just trying to be helpful.
(Little Miss Helpful places the swordfish on the pole still oblivious to the mistake she made)
Mr. Bump: (groans)
(The screen fades to black and the next bumper plays. A window in Mr. Quiet's house has a cracking the glass and needs replacing. Mr. Quiet shows Mr. Strong, the handyman, the window. Mr. Strong puts his toolbox down, opens it, and removes the broken glass pane. Mr. Strong puts the broken glass into his toolbox and takes out a new one without a hole. Mr. Strong places the new glass pane into the frame. Mr. Quiet smiles over the easy fix to his window. Mr. Strong takes his toolbox and walks out the door. Mr. Strong slams the door behind him and, due to his strength, inadvertently causes the new pane to slightly shatter as a crack identical to the one in the old pane forms. Mr. Quiet frowns in disappointment over the hired help being for nothing. The screen fades to black. The next scene begins with Mr. Bump, now fully recovered, beginning to move all the stuff Little Miss Helpful put into his living room out to the front of his house to be collected by either people who want the stuff or garbage collectors. The items include a wooden chair, a soccer ball, and a coat rack)
Narrator: Sometimes there are so many things that need to be done...
(Mr. Bump puts all the items in his arms on his front lawn. The coat rack leans to the right and hits Mr. Bump on his head. The unknown Mr. Man or Little Miss turns the wrench and transitions the scene to outside Mr. Rude's house. Mr. Stubborn is pulling up in a truck)
Narrator: It's easier to hire a handyman.
(The unknown Mr. Man or Little Miss turns the wrench and transitions the scene to Mr. Stubborn walking into Mr. Rude's kitchen holding a toolbox)
Narrator: Unless, that handy man is Mr. Stubborn!
(Mr. Rude takes out a sheet of paper with a list of things to do)
Mr. Rude: Here is a list of things I want done. I hope you know what you are doing.
Mr. Stubborn: Mr. Rude, I have been fixing things for years!
(Mr. Stubborn gestures to the wallpaper)
Mr. Stubborn: I suppose you want me to change this ugly wallpaper.
Mr. Rude: It is clear you have no taste.
(Mr. Rude takes out the list again)
Mr. Rude: Now, back to my list. Number 1 -
(Mr. Rude shows Mr. Stubborn the list of jobs to complete for him while also showing a moustache on Little Miss Sunshine's face that he drew over)
Mr. Rude (offscreen): Fix the stuck window.
Mr. Stubborn (offscreen): Mm-hmm!
Mr. Rude (offscreen): Number 2 - fix the leaky sink.
Mr. Stubborn (offscreen): Huh.
Mr. Rude (offscreen): Number 3 - change the lightbulbs in the chandelier.
Mr. Stubborn (offscreen): (chuckles)
(The camera cuts back to the full view of the kitchen)
Mr. Rude: Do you think you can do all of this?
(Mr. Stubborn takes the list from Mr. Rude)
Mr. Stubborn: Ha! I can do these things with my eyes closed!
Mr. Rude: If you need me, I will be in the living room, flossing my teeth.
(Mr. Rude leaves the kitchen. Mr. Stubborn looks at the first item on the list)
Mr. Stubborn: Fix window.
(Mr. Stubborn puts his toolbox down)
Mr. Stubborn: That is easy!
(Mr. Stubborn tries to pry the stuck window open using his strength and backside)
Mr. Stubborn: (grunts)
Mr. Rude (from inside the living room): I already tried that, you nincompoop!
Mr. Stubborn: Humph!
Mr. Rude (from inside the living room): You are just going to have to use your tools!
Mr. Stubborn: (grunts)
(Mr. Stubborn opens his toolbox)
Mr. Stubborn: I am the handyman, not you!
(Mr. Stubborn first takes out a small hammer and hammers the bottom of the window until a small crack is formed)
Mr. Stubborn: (grunts)
(Mr. Stubborn throws the small hammer behind him and it is heard crashing into something offscreen. Then, Mr. Stubborn pulls out a giant hammer)
Mr. Stubborn: (grunts)
(The camera cuts to the living room. Mr. Rude is shown flossing his teeth)
Mr. Stubborn (offscreen): (grunts)
(Mr. Stubborn is heard breaking the stuck window offscreen))
Mr. Rude: Dah!
(Mr. Rude runs back into the kitchen to find a huge hole where his window used to be. Mr. Stubborn is digging through his toolbox)
Mr. Rude: What have you done?!
(Mr. Stubborn takes the list back out and picks up his toolbox)
Mr. Stubborn: Job number 1 - fix the stuck window.
(Mr. Stubborn puts the list away and gestures to the hole in the wall)
Mr. Stubborn: That is how you do it!
Mr. Rude: Where did you learn that?! The handyman's school for buffoons?!
(Mr. Small and Mr. Nosey stop by the hole where the broken window was)
Mr. Small: Greetings, Mr. Rude! We couldn't help but notice this marvellous hole in your wall.
Mr. Nosey: Wow! It's great!
(Mr. Nosey grabs some binoculars and looks through them)
Mr. Nosey Now we can see into your kitchen.
Mr. Stubborn: You see?! I know what I'm doing. Now let me get back to work!
(Mr. Stubborn walks over to the leaky sink and reads the second item on the list)
Mr. Stubborn: Job two - fix the leaky sink!
(Mr. Stubborn puts his toolbox down and Mr. Rude confronts Mr. Stubborn)
Mr. Rude: You must go.... NOW!!!!!
(Mr. Stubborn takes a plunger out of his toolbox)
Mr. Stubborn: DO NOT TELL ME WHAT TO DO!!!!
(Mr. Stubborn sticks the plunger to Mr. Rude's mouth causing him to stumble backwards and Mr. Stubborn looks at the sink. Mr. Small walks over to the sink as Mr. Rude is heard crashing into something offscreen)
Mr. Stubborn: Oh! This sink is not leaking.
(Mr. Small jumps into the sink)
Mr. Small: Ah, sorry to disagree with you, Mr. Stubborn. But is indeed...
(Mr. Small takes out an umbrella)
Mr. Small: Leaking.
Mr. Stubborn: Mr. Small, you are not a handyman.
(Mr. Small hops out of the sink)
Mr. Stubborn: But if Mr. Rude wants it fixed for no reason, I will fix it.
(Mr. Small walks away. Mr. Stubborn digs through his toolbox. Mr. Rude comes back with the plunger Mr. Stubborn used on him in his hand)
Mr. Rude: Finally, you are talking sense.
(Mr. Stubborn takes out a second plunger)
Mr. Stubborn: IT IS NOT POLITE TO LISTEN TO OTHER PEOPLE'S CONVERSATIONS!!!
(Mr. Stubborn confiscates Mr. Rude's plunger and sticks both plungers onto Mr. Rude's eyes causing him to stumble backwards again)
Mr. Stubborn: (grunts)
(Mr. Stubborn rips the sink apart)
Mr. Stubborn: (grunts)
(Mr. Stubborn carries the sink to the hole in the wall)
Mr. Rude: What did you do to my sink?!
(Mr. Stubborn throws the sink outside)
Mr. Stubborn: (grunts) No sink, no leak! Problem solved!
(Mr. Messy stops by and looks through the hole in the wall)
Mr. Messy: Hey, Mr. Rude! I like what you've done to your kitchen!
(Mr. Messy walks through the hole in the wall)
Mr. Messy: Who needs a sink?
Mr. Stubborn: My thoughts exactly!
(Mr. Stubborn picks up his toolbox and looks at the list one more time)
Mr. Stubborn: Now, I have one more job - change the lightbulbs on the chandelier.
(Mr. Stubborn walks into the living room)
Mr. Rude: AH!
(Mr. Rude runs into the living room and sees Mr. Stubborn up on a ladder. Mr. Stubborn about to unscrew the chandelier's lightbulbs with pliers)
Mr. Rude: You do not need those ridiculous pliers. You can unscrew the bulbs by hand.
Mr. Stubborn: When are you going to stop telling me how to do my job?!?!?!
Mr. Rude: When you do something right!
Mr. Stubborn (offscreen): (grunts)
(Mr. Stubborn throws a plunger at Mr. Rude's mouth causing him to fly away. Mr. Stubborn then rips one of the lightbulbs off the chandelier with the pliers)
Mr. Stubborn: This chandelier...IS CHEAP!
(Mr. Stubborn throws the lightbulb onto the ground. It breaks upon hitting the ground offscreen. Mr. Stubborn grabs the chandelier with the pliers)
Mr. Stubborn: I have to take it down!
(Mr. Stubborn tries to get a grip on the chandelier but ends up swinging on it as the ladder falls down)
Mr. Stubborn: (grunts)
Mr. Rude: Stop it! You'll break it!
(Mr. Rude ends up grabbing Mr. Stubborn's legs and starts swinging on the chandelier too. Mr. Small, Mr. Nosey, and Mr. Messy walk into the living room to see what is happening)
Mr. Small: Why it's better than the circus!
(The weight causes the chandelier to fall down and creates a hole in the roof)
Mr. Stubborn: (yelps)
(Mr. Stubborn and Mr. Rude end up falling off as a result and crashing offscreen)
Mr. Messy: Cool! Now you've got a skylight!
Mr. Nosey: And, if anyone's flying over your house, they can look in!
(The damage to the chandelier is shown, Mr. Rude is upside-down against the wall, and Mr. Stubborn has antlers on his head. The telephone is also shown to be knocked off a table)
Mr. Rude: That's it. Get out of my house!
Mr. Stubborn: Humph! You are just jealous, because you are not a handyman!
(Mr. Rude stands up)
Mr. Rude: I'll give you a handyman!
(Mr. Rude farts. The scene cuts to Mr. Grumpy popping out of a window of his new home)
Mr. Grumpy: MR. RUDE!!
(The scene cuts back to the gleeful Mr. Rude with Mr. Nosey, Mr. Small, and Mr. Messy leaving in disgust)
Mr. Small: Oh, look at the time.
Mr. Nosey: Better be going.
Mr. Messy: See ya!
(The camera zooms out to show a disgusted Mr. Stubborn leaving with his toolbox)
Mr. Stubborn: (grunts in disgust)! You can pay me later!
Mr. Rude: (chuckles)
(Mr. Rude walks away but Mr. Stubborn returns and sticks his plunger on Mr. Rude's rear end. As Mr. Stubborn catches up to the others, Mr. Rude falls down on the floor with an annoyed and tired look on his face. The plot ends and fades out. The scene transitions to a bumper where Mr. Quiet has hired Mr. Scatterbrain to fix his window. Mr. Scatterbrain takes everything out of his toolbox, simply closes the blinds, puts everything back into the toolbox, and leaves. Mr. Quiet is dumbfounded at first, but then he shrugs it off and takes a nap on the floor)
Narrator: And so a day of home improvements comes to an end.
(The camera zooms in on Mr. Rude's house. The wrench moves across the screen to transition the scene to Mr. Grumpy ordering Little Miss Whoops, who is once again operating the crane, to return his house back to normal. Little Miss Whoops has a huge chunk of the castle in the jaws of the crane)
Narrator: if you decide you don't like...
(Little Miss Whoops moves the jaws of the crane over Mr. Grumpy. Seeing the chunk of castle over him, Mr. Grumpy realizes what is about to happen)
Narrator: How you will fix up your home,
(Little Miss Whoops drops the chunk of castle. Fortunately, it is just in front of Mr. Grumpy so he doesn't get squished. Mr. Grumpy pulls himself up onto the chunk and glares at Little Miss Whoops. The wrench transitions the scene to Mr. Bump's house. Mr. Bump has finished removing all of the stuff Little Miss Helpful had put into his house and, most likely, put his living room back the way it was. In his arms is the giant stuffed swordfish which Mr. Bump places to the right of himself. Mr. Bump smiles knowing that his living room is cleared out and back to normal)
Mr. Bump (overlap): (humming)
Narrator (overlap): You can always change it back to the way it was.
(The stuffed swordfish with the sharp nose starts falling towards Mr. Bump with the tip of its nose sparkling. The scene transitions to Mr. Rude fixing the hole in his ceiling. A poking sound is heard indicating that Mr. Bump got poked by the swordfish as the scene transitioned)
Mr. Bump (offscreen): (yelps)
(Mr. Rude aligns a nail onto a plank of wood)
Narrator: With a little effort...
(Mr. Rude accidentally hammers his thumb instead of the nail)
Narrator: And maybe...
(Mr. Rude starts jumping up and down as he holds his thumb in excruciating pain)
Narrator: A sore thumb!
(The screen fades to black and the episode ends here)
Deleted Scene[]
Mr. Quiet: Do you have the deleted scene?
Mr. Nosey: I only see it from the US version of the episode. Not the UK. Unless someone finds it and alerts Icequeen NinjaWarrior, the template stays.
Please do not remove the {{Missing UK Deleted Scene}} tag until the deleted scene is found in the UK version.
US Dub[]
Mr. Men and Little Miss: The Mr. Men, The Mr. Men, The Mr. Men, The Mr. Men!
(Scene swaps to Mr. Tickle tickling lots of Mr. Men and Little Misses and goes all the way to Mr. Bump and Miss Whoops on a plane and tickles Miss Whoops causing Mr. Bump to fall into the "O" in the logo)
Mr. Bump: The Mr. Men Show!
(A big orange screen comes up with "Home Improvement" written on it with the "ment" part of "Improvement" written on wood, Little Miss Helpful, a ladder, and who created the episode underneath. The sounds of hammering followed by a crash are heard)
Miss Helpful (voiceover): Just trying to be helpful!
(The episode begins with a wheel showing Mr. Bounce's house, Mr. Scatterbrain's house, and Mr. Rude's house. Several tools are shown as the border of the wheel)
Narrator: When it comes to fixing up their homes,
(Someone places a wrench onto the center of the bolt and transitions the image of Mr. Bounce's house to Mr. Bounce. Mr. Bounce is wearing a toolbelt with a hammer next to him)
Narrator: Some Mr. Men and Little Misses...
(The unknown Mr. Man or Little Miss turns the wrench and transitions the image of Mr. Scatterbrain's house to Mr. Scatterbrain. Mr. Scatterbrain is wearing a toolbelt with an iron next to him)
Narrator: Aren't afraid to get out there...
(The unknown Mr. Man or Little Miss turns the wrench and transitions the image of Mr. Rude's house to Mr. Nervous. Mr. Nervous has a paintbrush next to him. The camera zooms out to show the whole wheel)
Narrator: And do the work themselves!
(The camera zooms in on Mr. Bounce's image and the unknown Mr. Man or Little Miss turns the wrench and transitions the image of Mr. Bounce to Mr. Bounce repairing the roof of his house)
Narrator: Whether it's repairing the roof...
(Mr. Bounce hammers a nail into the roof tile but is sent bouncing all around the roof before bouncing away. The unknown Mr. Man or Little Miss turns the wrench and transitions the scene to Mr. Scatterbrain adding a back porch to his house. The back porch is made up of all sorts of items from an umbrella, to a guitar, to a hat-rack)
Narrator: Adding on a porch...
(The unknown Mr. Man or Little Miss turns the wrench and transitions the scene to Mr. Nervous painting the inside of his house)
Narrator: Or redecorating the living room...
(The camera zooms out to reveal that Little Miss Scary is helping Mr. Nervous and has painted a self-portrait of herself scaring Mr. Nervous on the wall)
Mr. Nervous: G'oh!
(Mr. Nervous runs away in fear. The unknown Mr. Man or Little Miss turns the wrench and transitions the scene to Mr. Happy trimming a hedge in his image with great speed)
Narrator: The good people of Dillydale are usually happy to take on...
(Mr. Nervous runs into the frame)
Mr. Nervous: (screams)
(Mr. Nervous runs into the hedge and somehow remodels it into his own image. Much to Mr. Happy's disappointment. Mr. Nervous then flees the scene)
Narrator: A home improvement or two.
(Mr. Happy frowns)
Narrator: Of course,
(The unknown Mr. Man or Little Miss turns the wrench and transitions the scene to Mr. Grumpy's house. Mr. Grumpy drives up to his house and heads inside)
Narrator: There are those times when a home improvement is so large that it is best...
(Inside, Little Miss Chatterbox is shown drawing up some blueprints for Mr. Grumpy)
Narrator: To hire others to do the work.
(Mr. Grumpy walks over to Little Miss Chatterbox)
Mr. Grumpy: Well, I see you've drawn up the plans for my new porch. As I said, all I want is a SIMPLE back porch. A place where I can sit peacefully and not see any people!
(Mr. Grumpy shows Little Miss Chatterbox a small piece of paper with a crude drawing of his house with a small porch attached to it and a frowning sun above it on the paper)
Mr. Grumpy: Like this.
(The camera zooms in on the crude drawing)
Mr. Grumpy (offscreen): See? Nothing too fancy.
(Little Miss Chatterbox looks at the drawing)
Miss Chatterbox: That's looks great, Mr. Grumpy. Heh. Well...actually it's kind of boring.
(Mr. Grumpy's frowns in disbelief. Little Miss Chatterbox steps down from the drawing board)
Miss Chatterbox: Which is why I came up with something much better!
(Little Miss Chatterbox shows the blueprints for a castle that is really a huge expansion of Mr. Grumpy's house. The camera zooms in on the blueprints)
Miss Chatterbox (offscreen): Here's the moat and drawbridge and spiral staircase leading to the tower.
(The camera zooms out)
Miss Chatterbox: Nice touch, huh?
(Mr. Grumpy looks at the blueprints in disbelief before regaining composure)
Mr. Grumpy: Miss Chatterbox, those are plans for a castle!
Miss Chatterbox: I know.
(Little Miss Chatterbox rolls up the blueprints and heads for the door)
Miss Chatterbox: A castle is way more exciting than an ordinary back porch.
(Little Miss Chatterbox hands Mr. Grumpy the blueprints)
Miss Chatterbox: It's even more exciting than a front porch.
Mr. Grumpy: You didn't think I would let you turn my house into a castle, did you?
(Mr. Grumpy briefly looks at the blueprints)
Mr. Grumpy: Huh-huh!
Miss Chatterbox: Well...
(Mr. Strong opens the door. Mr. Strong is shown wearing a hardhat)
Mr. Strong: Uh, yo! Miss Chatterbox! Where do you want me to start digging the moat?
(Little Miss Chatterbox gives a slightly embarrassed grin)
Miss Chatterbox: I might have thought that.
(Little Miss Chatterbox runs outside and Mr. Strong closes the door)
Mr. Grumpy: Moat!?
(The camera shows the audience the blueprints for the castle. The camera fades from the blueprints to Mr. Grumpy's house being reconstructed into a castle. Little Miss Whoops is shown operating a crane. Mr. Quiet is shown holding a clipboard and is standing next to Little Miss Chatterbox. All three of them are wearing hardhats)
Miss Chatterbox: Start digging right over there, Miss Whoops.
Miss Whoops: Gotcha!
(Little Miss Whoops starts lowering the jaws of the crane when Mr. Grumpy runs over to the three workers. Little Miss Whoops stops lowering the jaws of the crane when Mr. Grumpy shows up)
Mr. Grumpy: Hold on! There will be no digging!
Miss Chatterbox: But we have to dig to put in a moat! And it won't be a very good castle if it doesn't have a moat.
Mr. Grumpy: That's fine! Cause I don't want a castle or a moat!
Mr. Quiet: Good thing. Because with a moat comes crocodiles!
(A truck full of crocodiles pulls up. Mr. Noisy is shown next to the truck and shows Mr. Quiet a clipboard with a paper to sign on it)
Mr. Noisy: Sign here for your crocodiles!
Mr. Quiet: Told ya!
Mr. Grumpy: I don't want any crocodiles either! All I want is a simple back porch!
(Mr. Noisy walks over towards Mr. Grumpy)
Mr. Noisy: But nowadays all the best castles have moats and all moats have crocodiles.
(Despite the back of the truck being locked, two crocodiles manages to squeeze out of the truck and walk away)
Crocodiles: (snarling)
Mr. Quiet: Oh! Crocodiles on the loose!
(Mr. Quiet tries to signal Mr. Noisy, Little Miss Chatterbox, and Mr. Grumpy about the crocodiles but they fail to see his panicked reaction or the crocodiles)
Mr. Grumpy: I don't care what other castles have. This castle-I.....I...I mean this house does not need a moat!
Mr. Noisy: Search yourself.
(Mr. Noisy leaves)
Mr. Noisy: Enjoy your castle.
(Mr. Noisy drives away in the crocodile truck. Mr. Strong is revealed to have been behind the truck holding a drawbridge door and is shown when the truck drives away)
Miss Chatterbox: Scratch the moat. Mr. Strong, why don't you start building the tower.
Mr. Strong: Will do.
(Mr. Strong carries the drawbridge door to the front of the house)
Mr. Strong: (grunts)
(Mr. Strong places the drawbridge door in front of the original door. The drawbridge door then lowers (chains attached to it) and crushes one half of Mr. Grumpy's car. Splitting the car in half in the process)
Mr. Strong: Ah, pickles!
(Mr. Quiet covers his mouth in nervousness as Mr. Grumpy freaks out)
Mr. Grumpy; That drawbridge crushed my car.
(Little Miss Chatterbox starts thinking)
Miss Chatterbox: Hmm. It is kind of silly to have a drawbridge without a moat. (chuckles) Maybe we should add back the moat.
(The camera pans back over to Little Miss Whoops, who is still operating the crane)
Miss Whoops: Don't have to ask me twice!
(Little Miss Whoops starts operating the crane again. Little Miss Whoops accidentally causes the jaws to damage the roof of Mr. Grumpy's house and grab a port-a-potty)
Miss Whoops (offscreen): Whoops!
Mr. Grumpy: Stop!! You're destroying my house!!
(Little Miss Whoops struggles to control the jaws of the crane and ends up lifting the port-a-potty. She also accidentally causes it to swing and hit Mr. Grumpy's house)
Miss Whoops: Port-a-potty!
(Mr. Quiet, Little Miss Chatterbox, and Mr. Grumpy see the port-a-potty)
Miss Whoops (offscreen): Coming through.
(Mr. Grumpy and Little Miss Chatterbox duck just in time but the port-a-potty hits Mr. Quiet)
Mr. Quiet: (moans)
(Mr. Quiet falls off the port-a-potty)
Mr. Quiet: Woah!
(The jaws of the crane release the port-a-potty)
Miss Whoops (offscreen): Whoops!
(Little Miss Whoops looks at the viewers)
Miss Whoops: Again.
(Mr. Grumpy sees the port-a-potty falling down towards him)
Mr. Grumpy: (gasps)
(The port-a-potty lands on Mr. Grumpy)
Mr. Grumpy (from inside the port-a-potty): Crooked cucumbers! Someone let me out of this thing!
(Mr. Grumpy bangs on the port-a-potty door)
Mr. Grumpy (from inside the port-a-potty): I'm in no mood to be held prisoner in a potty!
(Mr. Grumpy continues banging on the port-a-potty door until he manages to open the door)
Mr. Grumpy: Miss Chatterbox?
(Mr. Grumpy walks out of the port-a-potty)
Mr. Grumpy: Uh, Mr. Strong?
(Mr. Grumpy notices his house offscreen)
Mr. Grumpy: (gasps)
(The camera zooms out to show Mr. Grumpy's house. Mr. Grumpy's house is now transformed into a castle)
Mr. Grumpy: It's grand, I'll give you that.
(Mr. Grumpy walks into his house and looks around)
Mr. Grumpy: Well, I supposed I could get used to this. (chuckles) Huh, I wonder where she put my TV?
(The camera zooms out to reveal the two crocodiles that escaped earlier relaxing on Mr. Grumpy's arm chair, eating popcorn, and watching TV)
Mr. Grumpy: (gasps) Put that ba-! Oh! oh! Put that--
(The crocodiles turn their heads to Mr. Grumpy and get angry
Mr. Grumpy: Whoa!
(Mr. Grumpy runs away as the crocodiles chase him)
Crocodiles: (roars)
(Mr. Grumpy runs up the five stairs of the tower as the crocodiles chase him)
Mr. Grumpy: (screams)
(At the top of the tower, Mr. Grumpy calls out from the tower)
Mr. Grumpy: Miss Chatterbox!
Crocodiles (offscreen): (snarl)
(Mr. Grumpy uses the castle's blueprints to fend off the crocodiles as they snap their jaws at Mr. Grumpy)
Crocodiles (overlap): (roaring and snarling)
Mr. Grumpy (overlap): Come back here and get rid of these crocodiles!
(The camera zooms out to show Mr. Strong, Little Miss Chatterbox, Mr. Quiet, and Little Miss Whoops having a picnic on a hill. Little Miss Chatterbox, oblivious to what is happening to Mr. Grumpy due to him being very far away, waves to Mr. Grumpy)
Miss Chatterbox: (giggles) Mr. Grumpy seems so happy! (giggles) I knew a castle would be way better thank a back porch.
(Everyone raises a glass of grape juice. Mr. Quiet and Little Miss Chatterbox clink their glasses. The camera zooms out to show the wheel. The unknown Mr. Man or Little Miss turns the wrench and transitions the still of Mr. Strong, Little Miss Chatterbox, Mr. Quiet, and Little Miss Whoops to the first bumper. A window in Mr. Quiet's house has a cracking the glass and needs replacing. Mr. Quiet shows Mr. Nervous, the handyman, the window. Mr. Nervous puts his toolbox down, opens it, and removes the broken glass pane. Mr. Nervous puts the broken glass into his toolbox and takes out a new one without a hole. Mr. Nervous places the new glass pane into the frame. Mr. Nervous then closes his toolbox up and sees his own reflection in the window)
Mr. Nervous: (screams)
(Mr. Nervous takes his toolbox and runs out the door. Mr. Nervous slams the door behind him and inadvertently causes the new pane to slightly shatter as a crack identical to the one in the old pane forms. Mr. Quiet frowns in disappointment over the hired help being for nothing. The screen fades to black. The next scene begins with TV static appearing on the screen. A frame showing Little Miss Magic in front of the camera appears indicating that a commercial starring Little Miss Magic is about to begin. The scene transitions to the actual commercial. Mr. Fussy and Mr. Messy are both about to paint their side of the duplex. After Mr. Fussy used one stroke of his brush, Mr. Messy hastily brushes his house up and down and some of his paint got onto Mr. Fussy's side of the house)
Mr. Fussy: (yelps) My beautifully painted home!
Mr. Messy: Sorry Mr. Fussy, that paint just jumped off my brush!
(Little Miss Magic appears in a cloud of purple glitter in between Mr. Fussy and Mr. Messy)
Miss Magic: Don't let this happen to you!
(Little Miss Magic lands on the ground)
Miss Magic: I'm Miss Magic...
(In another cloud of purple glittery smoke, a paintbrush with a dial on it appears in Little Miss Magic's hand)
Miss Magic: Here to tell you about my amazing magic paint wand!
(The screen transitions to a gray screen where a pot of paint and airbrush gun are being crossed out with the paint wand appearing in between the items in full color)
Miss Magic (voiceover): There's no easier way to paint your house.
(Mr. Fussy is shown preparing to use the paint wand by setting the dial to teal)
Miss Magic (voiceover): Just turn the dial to the color of your choice, wave it over the area you wish to paint, and...Presto!
(Mr. Fussy waves the paint wand and Mr. Fussy's side of the house turns teal)
Mr. Fussy: How lovely!
(Mr. Messy waves his magic paint wand, and purple paint splatters all over the front of his house)
Mr. Messy: Now that's what I'm talking about!
Mr. Fussy: Mr. Messy! H-have you no respect for good taste?
(Mr. Fussy accidentally waves his magic paint wand, the spell ricochets off the window, and hits Mr. Messy. Turning him teal)
Mr. Messy: (screams)
(Little Miss Magic pops up in a small circle)
Miss Magic: (chuckles) Of course, the magic wand isn't for everyone.
(The small circle Little Miss Magic was in disappears. Mr. Messy, angry at Mr. Fussy, retaliates by using the magic paint wand to turn Mr. Fussy orange)
Mr. Fussy: Sweet Henrietta! I'm orange!
(Mr. Fussy and Mr. Messy engage in an all out paint war. Mr. Fussy turns Mr. Messy purple and Mr. Messy turns Mr. Fussy light green. Little Miss Magic is shown standing in the middle of the crossfire and behind her, paint splotches are covering the background)
Miss Magic: So buy my amazing paint wand today!
(The spell from both wands collided onto Miss Magic and she has paint splatters on herself and her hat)
Miss Magic: And put a little more color into your world.
(Mr. Messy and Mr. Fussy resume their paint war as the whole area around them gets covered in paint. The screen fades to black. The next scene begins with Mr. Messy sitting in front of his messy paint-covered house sometime after the paint war. Mr. Messy is enjoying some pizza)
Narrator: Not all the Mr. Men and Little Misses want their homes to be improved.
(Mr. Messy takes a bite of pizza by his house. An unknown Mr. Man or Little Miss turns the wrench to transition the scene to Mr. Bump's house. An ambulance is pulling up in front of Mr. Bump's house)
Narrator: Just ask Mr. Bump, who who is eager to get back to his house, after a short stay in the hospital.
(The wrench turns again and Little Miss Helpful is shown leading Mr. Bump into his living room. Both of Mr. Bump's arms are in casts and Mr. Bump's eyes are wrapped with bandages)
Miss Helpful: Are you sure you're gonna be okay, Mr. Bump?
(Mr. Bump turns around)
Mr. Bump: Positive, Miss Helpful. I got off pretty easy this time. Only a couple of broken arms and tear sprained eyelids. I just have to keep my eyes wrapped for a week and I'll be good as new.
Miss Helpful: You want me to make you some cabbage soup? Or organize your sock drawer?
Mr. Bump: No, I just need to rest quietly.
(Mr. Bump walks away)
Miss Helpful: But you can't see where you're going!
(Mr. Bump stops walking and addresses Little Miss Helpful)
Mr. Bump: Oh, I know my house so well, I can find my way around in the dark!
(Mr. Bump touches his face)
Mr. Bump: I know exactly where everything is! You see? Three steps to the sofa...
(Mr. Bump takes three steps to the sofa)
Mr. Bump: And two steps to the window!
(Mr. Bump takes two steps to the window. Mr. Bump leans on the arm of the sofa)
Mr. Bump: Pretty good, huh?
Miss Helpful: I am impressed! But are you sure you don't need my help?
Mr. Bump: I'll be fine. Thank you, Miss Helpful.
(Mr. Bump starts walking towards a doorway)
Mr. Bump: Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to take a nap.
(Mr. Bump leaves)
Miss Helpful: Maybe I ought to tidy up? That would be a big help to Mr. Bump.
(Little Miss Helpful walks over to the sofa)
Miss Helpful: Hmm. I wonder what that sofa would look like slanted a teeny bit?
(Little Miss Helpful moves the sofa towards the window)
Miss Helpful: Now this'll make a dandy spot for Mr. Bump and me to play checkers.
(Little Miss Helpful moves the table to in front of the sofa)
Miss Helpful: Just needs a table.
(Little Miss Helpful places a throw rug on the floor)
Miss Helpful: Nothing cozies up a room like a throw rug.
(Little Miss Helpful moves a fountain into the room)
Miss Helpful: Or a fountain.
(Little Miss Helpful positions a gong into the room)
Miss Helpful: Gongs are supposed to bring good luck!
(A montage of Little Miss Helpful rearranging Mr. Bump's house begins. On a green striped screen, Little Miss Helpful runs to the left holding a disco ball. Then she runs across the screen to the right holding a bowling ball. The scene transitions to a orange-yellow screen showing Little Miss Helpful running in place holding a potted plant. The scene transitions to a pink and purple rectangle on the top of the screen and a light and dark blue screen on the bottom of the screen. In the pink rectangle, Little Miss Helpful is running around with a green rug. In the blue rectangle, Little Miss Helpful is running around with a yellow rug in the opposite direction. The scene transition to a lilac background where Little Miss Helpful switches the places of a telephone and a cactus. Four rectangular stripes come across the screen in the pattern of white followed by orange. The white stripes come in from the left while the orange stripes come in from the right. The first white stripe shows Little Miss Helpful running across the screen to the left holding a radio. The first orange stripe shows Little Miss Helpful running across the screen to the right holding a vase full of flowers. The second white stripe shows Little Miss Helpful running across the screen to the left holding a cuckoo clock. The second orange stripe shows Little Miss Helpful running across the screen to the right holding what appears to be a sculpture. The screen splits in half. On the right side of the screen, Little Miss Helpful is running in place in front of a yellow background holding a fruit bowl over her head. On the left side of the screen, Mr. Bump is shown asleep in bed oblivious to all the changes Little Miss Helpful is doing to his living room. The two sides of the screen transition away and reveal Little Miss Helpful standing in front of a blue background with chairs circling her head as she looks at the chairs in excitement. In the upper right corner in a purple square, Little Miss Helpful sets down a small wooden, circular chair. In the upper left corner in a pink square, Little Miss Helpful sets down a cream colored vase. In the lower right corner in a pink square, Little Miss Helpful sets down some books. In the lower left corner in a purple square, Little Miss Helpful sets down a cactus. The montage ends with a proud Little Miss Helpful standing in the middle of the room. The room has been completely transformed. Several knickknacks in the room and everything has been moved around)
Miss Helpful: Mr. Bump is gonna love it!
(Little Miss Helpful gets another idea)
Miss Helpful: I think that wall needs a big old stuff fish.
(Little Miss Helpful leaves to get a stuffed fish. The noise of the door opening and closing wakes up Mr. Bump. Curious, Mr. Bump heads to the living room to figure out what Little Miss Helpful is up to)
Mr. Bump: Miss Helpful?
(Mr. Bump walks into the room and ends up crashing into something due to the rearrangement of the room)
Mr. Bump (offscreen): Oh! Woah! Pah! Ugh!
(Mr. Bump is shown in a twisted mess)
Mr. Bump: (moans)
(The camera zooms out to reveal the sofa, now upside-down and the cushions on the floor due to Mr. Bump crashing into it)
Mr. Bump: Huh. I don't remember the sofa being so close to the doorway.
(Mr. Bump stands back up)
Mr. Bump: (grunts)
(Mr. Bump keeps walking around)
Mr. Bump: Hmm...
(Mr. Bump crashes into another something offscreen)
Mr. Bump (offscreen): D'oh!
(Another montage plays. This time showing Mr. Bump getting hurt thanks to all the rearrangements Little Miss Helpful done. On a green striped screen, Mr. Bump hops across the screen from the left holding his foot in pain as one of the toes on his left foot has swollen up red due to stubbing it)
Mr. Bump: Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!
(The scene transitions to a orange-yellow screen showing Mr. Bump running around aimlessly towards the viewers as he has no idea where anything is anymore)
Mr. Bump: Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!
(The scene transitions to a pink and purple rectangle on the top of the screen and a light and dark blue screen on the bottom of the screen. In the pink rectangle, Mr. Bump is sliding across the screen on the green rug. In the blue rectangle, Mr. Bump is running around with a yellow rug in the opposite direction)
Both Mr. Bumps: Woah!
(The scene transition to a lilac background where Mr. Bump is by the table where the cactus and telephone are. The telephone rings but due to the switch, Mr. Bump ends up picking up the cactus instead of the telephone)
Mr. Bump: P'ah!
(Four rectangular stripes come across the screen in the pattern of white followed by orange. The white stripes come in from the left while the orange stripes come in from the right. The first white stripe shows Mr. Bump flopping across the screen to the left as if he had just been hit by something. The first orange stripe shows Mr. Bump flopping across the screen to the right as if he had just been hit by something. Both actions happen on the lower orange and white stripes as well)
Mr. Bumps: Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!
(The screen splits in half. On the right side of the screen, there is a gong in front of a yellow background. On the left side of the screen, Mr. Bump bounces in front of a blue background before crashing into the gong. The two sides of the screen transition away and reveal Mr. Bump standing in front of a blue background with stars circling his head due to all the injuries and dazes caused by the changes made to the living room) (In the upper right corner in a purple square, Mr. Bump falls down to the ground. In the upper left corner in a pink square, Mr. Bump also falls down to the ground. In the lower right corner in a pink square, Mr. Bump also falls down to the ground again. In the lower left corner in a purple square, Mr. Bump also falls down to the ground one more time. The montage ends with Mr. Bump sitting in the fountain soaking wet with two fishes flopping on his head)
Mr. Bump: (yells in frustration)
(The room is now a total wreck due to Mr. Bump crashing into everything and all the items placed in the room)
Mr. Bump: Hey, something fishy is going on around here!
(Mr. Bump gets out of the fountain, still soaking wet, and stands behind a chair)
Mr. Bump: I...I'll just sit in my chair.
(Mr. Bump sits down in the chair next to the fountain)
Mr. Bump: Until morning.
(Little Miss Helpful returns with a stuffed swordfish with a sharp nose. The nose sparkles to show how sharp it is. Little Miss Helpful sees the wrecked room and Mr. Bump sitting in the chair)
Miss Helpful: Mr. Bump! You're not supposed to unwrap your eyes!
(Little Miss Helpful walks further into the room and ends up getting the swordfish close to the disco ball that's still hanging from the ceiling)
Miss Helpful (offscreen): You could sprain your eyelids all over again.
(The sharp nose of the swordfish cuts the rope that's hanging the disco ball from the ceiling. The disco ball ends up falling onto Mr. Bump)
Mr. Bump (offscreen): (groans in pain)
(Mr. Bump pulls himself up while still trapped underneath the disco ball. The bandages around Mr. Bump's eyes end up coming off and Mr. Bump squints his eyes in pain)
Mr. Bump (in pain): Oh. Too late.
(The camera zooms out to show the wrecked room)
Miss Helpful: Just trying to be helpful.
(Little Miss Helpful places the swordfish on the pole still oblivious to the mistake she made. The screen fades to black and the next bumper plays. A window in Mr. Quiet's house has a cracking the glass and needs replacing. Mr. Quiet shows Mr. Strong, the handyman, the window. Mr. Strong puts his toolbox down, opens it, and removes the broken glass pane. Mr. Strong puts the broken glass into his toolbox and takes out a new one without a hole. Mr. Strong places the new glass pane into the frame. Mr. Quiet smiles over the easy fix to his window. Mr. Strong takes his toolbox and walks out the door. Mr. Strong slams the door behind him and, due to his strength, inadvertently causes the new pane to slightly shatter as a crack identical to the one in the old pane forms. Mr. Quiet frowns in disappointment over the hired help being for nothing. The screen fades to black. The next scene begins with Mr. Bump, now fully recovered, beginning to move all the stuff Little Miss Helpful put into his living room out to the front of his house to be collected by either people who want the stuff or garbage collectors. The items include a wooden chair, a soccer ball, and a coat rack)
Narrator: Sometimes there are so many things that need to be done...
(Mr. Bump puts all the items in his arms on his front lawn. The coat rack leans to the right and hits Mr. Bump on his head. The unknown Mr. Man or Little Miss turns the wrench and transitions the scene to outside Mr. Rude's house. Mr. Stubborn is pulling up in a truck)
Narrator: It's easier to hire a handyman.
(The unknown Mr. Man or Little Miss turns the wrench and transitions the scene to Mr. Stubborn walking into Mr. Rude's kitchen holding a toolbox)
Narrator: Unless, that handy man is Mr. Stubborn!
(Mr. Rude takes out a sheet of paper with a list of things to do)
Mr. Rude: Here is a list of things I want done. I hope you know what you are doing.
Mr. Stubborn: Mr. Rude, I have been fixing things for years!
(Mr. Stubborn gestures to the wallpaper)
Mr. Stubborn: I suppose you want me to change this ugly wallpaper.
Mr. Rude: It is clear you have no taste.
(Mr. Rude takes out the list again)
Mr. Rude: Now, back to my list. Number 1 -
(Mr. Rude shows Mr. Stubborn the list of jobs to complete for him while also showing a moustache on Little Miss Sunshine's face that he drew over)
Mr. Rude (offscreen): Fix the stuck window. Number 2 - fix the leaky sink. Number 3 - change the lightbulbs in the chandelier.
(The camera cuts back to the full view of the kitchen)
Mr. Rude: Do you think you can do all of this?
(Mr. Stubborn takes the list from Mr. Rude)
Mr. Stubborn: Ha! I can do these things with my eyes closed!
Mr. Rude: If you need me, I will be in the living room, flossing my teeth.
(Mr. Rude leaves the kitchen. Mr. Stubborn looks at the first item on the list)
Mr. Stubborn: Fix window.
(Mr. Stubborn puts his toolbox down)
Mr. Stubborn: That is easy!
(Mr. Stubborn tries to pry the stuck window open using his strength and backside)
Mr. Stubborn: (grunts)
Mr. Rude (from inside the living room): I already tried that, you nincompoop! You are going to have to use your tools!
Mr. Stubborn: (grunts)
(Mr. Stubborn opens his toolbox)
Mr. Stubborn: I am the handyman, not you!
(Mr. Stubborn first takes out a small hammer and hammers the bottom of the window until a small crack is formed. Mr. Stubborn throws the small hammer behind him and it is heard crashing into something offscreen. Then, Mr. Stubborn pulls out a giant hammer. The camera cuts to the living room. Mr. Rude is shown flossing his teeth when he hears Mr. Stubborn breaking the stuck window)
Mr. Rude: Dah!
(Mr. Rude runs back into the kitchen to find a huge hole where his window used to be. Mr. Stubborn is digging through his toolbox)
Mr. Rude: What have you done?!
(Mr. Stubborn takes the list back out and picks up his toolbox)
Mr. Stubborn: Job number 1 - fix the stuck window.
(Mr. Stubborn puts the list away and gestures to the hole in the wall)
Mr. Stubborn: That is how you do it!
Mr. Rude: Where did you learn that?! The handyman's school for buffoons?!
(Mr. Small and Mr. Nosey stop by the hole where the broken window was)
Mr. Small: Greetings, Mr. Rude! We couldn't help but notice this marvellous hole in your wall.
Mr. Nosey: Gee, it's great!
(Mr. Nosey grabs some binoculars and looks through them)
Mr. Nosey Now we can see into your kitchen.
Mr. Stubborn: You see?! I know what I am doing. Now let me get back to work!
(Mr. Stubborn walks over to the leaky sink and reads the second item on the list)
Mr. Stubborn: Job two - fix the leaky sink!
(Mr. Stubborn puts his toolbox down and Mr. Rude confronts Mr. Stubborn)
Mr. Rude: You must go.... NOW!!!!!
(Mr. Stubborn takes a plunger out of his toolbox)
Mr. Stubborn: DO NOT TELL ME WHAT TO DO!!!!
(Mr. Stubborn sticks the plunger to Mr. Rude's mouth causing him to stumble backwards and Mr. Stubborn looks at the sink. Mr. Small walks over to the sink as Mr. Rude is heard crashing into something offscreen)
Mr. Stubborn: This sink is not leaking.
(Mr. Small jumps into the sink)
Mr. Small: Ah, sorry to disagree with you, Mr. Stubborn, but it is indeed...
(Mr. Small takes out an umbrella)
Mr. Small: Leaking.
Mr. Stubborn: You are not a handyman, Mr. Small.
(Mr. Small hops out of the sink)
Mr. Stubborn: But if Mr. Rude wants it fixed for no reason, I will fix it.
(Mr. Small walks away. Mr. Stubborn digs through his toolbox. Mr. Rude comes back with the plunger Mr. Stubborn used on him in his hand)
Mr. Rude: Finally, you are talking sense.
(Mr. Stubborn takes out a second plunger)
Mr. Stubborn: IT IS NOT POLITE TO LISTEN TO OTHER PEOPLE'S CONVERSATIONS!!!
(Mr. Stubborn confiscates Mr. Rude's plunger and sticks both plungers onto Mr. Rude's eyes causing him to stumble backwards again. Mr. Stubborn then rips the sink apart and carries it to the hole in the wall)
Mr. Rude: What did you do to my sink?!
(Mr. Stubborn throws the sink outside)
Mr. Stubborn: No sink, no leak! Problem solved!
(Mr. Messy stops by and looks through the hole in the wall)
Mr. Messy: Hey, Mr. Rude! I like what you did to your kitchen!
(Mr. Messy walks through the hole in the wall)
Mr. Messy: Who needs a sink?
Mr. Stubborn: My thoughts exactly!
(Mr. Stubborn picks up his toolbox and looks at the list one more time)
Mr. Stubborn: Now, I have one more job - change the lightbulbs on the chandelier.
(Mr. Stubborn walks into the living room)
Mr. Rude: AH!
(Mr. Rude runs into the living room and sees Mr. Stubborn up on a ladder. Mr. Stubborn about to unscrew the chandelier's lightbulbs with pliers)
Mr. Rude: You do not need those ridiculous pliers. You can unscrew the bulbs by hand.
Mr. Stubborn: When are you going to stop telling me how to do my job?!?!?!
Mr. Rude: When you do something right!
(Mr. Stubborn throws a plunger at Mr. Rude's mouth causing him to fly away. Mr. Stubborn then rips one of the lightbulbs off the chandelier with the pliers)
Mr. Stubborn: This chandelier...IS CHEAP!
(Mr. Stubborn throws the lightbulb onto the ground. It breaks upon hitting the ground offscreen. Mr. Stubborn grabs the chandelier with the pliers)
Mr. Stubborn: I have to take it down!
(Mr. Stubborn tries to get a grip on the chandelier but ends up swinging on it as the ladder falls down)
Mr. Rude: Stop it! You'll break it!
(Mr. Rude ends up grabbing Mr. Stubborn's legs and starts swinging on the chandelier too. Mr. Small, Mr. Nosey, and Mr. Messy walk into the living room to see what is happening)
Mr. Small: Why it's better than the circus!
(The weight causes the chandelier to fall down and creates a hole in the roof. Mr. Stubborn and Mr. Rude end up falling off as a result and crashing offscreen)
Mr. Messy: Cool! Now you've got a skylight!
Mr. Nosey: And, if anyone's flying over your house, they can look in!
(The damage to the chandelier is shown, Mr. Rude is upside-down against the wall, and Mr. Stubborn has antlers on his head. The telephone is also shown to be knocked off a table)
Mr. Rude: That's it. Get out of my house!
Mr. Stubborn: Humph! You are just jealous, because you are not a handyman!
(Mr. Rude stands up)
Mr. Rude: I'll give you handyman!
(Mr. Rude farts. The scene cuts to Mr. Grumpy popping out of a window of his modified home)
Mr. Grumpy: MR. RUDE!!
(The scene cuts back to the gleeful Mr. Rude with Mr. Nosey, Mr. Small and Mr. Messy leaving in disgust)
Mr. Small: Look at the time.
Mr. Nosey: Better be going.
Mr. Messy: See ya!
(The camera zooms out to show a disgusted Mr. Stubborn leaving with his toolbox)
Mr. Stubborn: (grunts in disgust)! You can pay me later!
Mr. Rude: (chuckles)
(Mr. Rude walks away but Mr. Stubborn returns and sticks his plunger on Mr. Rude's rear end. As Mr. Stubborn catches up to the others, Mr. Rude falls down on the floor with an annoyed and tired look on his face. The plot ends and fades out. The scene transitions to a bumper where Mr. Quiet has hired Mr. Scatterbrain to fix his window. Mr. Scatterbrain takes everything out of his toolbox, simply closes the blinds, puts everything back into the toolbox, and leaves. Mr. Quiet is dumbfounded at first, but then he shrugs it off and takes a nap on the floor. The scene transitions back to the wheel showing Mr. Bounce's house, Mr. Scatterbrain's house, and Mr. Rude's house. The wrench on the wheel spins the wheel around)
Narrator: And so a day of home improvements comes to an end.
(The camera zooms in on Mr. Rude's house. The wrench moves across the screen to transition the scene to Mr. Grumpy ordering Little Miss Whoops, who is once again operating the crane, to return his house back to normal. Little Miss Whoops has a huge chunk of the castle in the jaws of the crane)
Narrator: if you decide you don't like...
(Little Miss Whoops moves the jaws of the crane over Mr. Grumpy. Seeing the chunk of castle over him, Mr. Grumpy realizes what is about to happen)
Narrator: How you will fix up your home,
(Little Miss Whoops drops the chunk of castle. Fortunately, it is just in front of Mr. Grumpy so he doesn't get squished. Mr. Grumpy pulls himself up onto the chunk and glares at Little Miss Whoops. The wrench transitions the scene to Mr. Bump's house. Mr. Bump has finished removing all of the stuff Little Miss Helpful had put into his house and, most likely, put his living room back the way it was. In his arms is the giant stuffed swordfish which Mr. Bump places to the right of himself. Mr. Bump smiles knowing that his living room is cleared out and back to normal)
Narrator: You can always change it back to the way it was.
(The stuffed swordfish with the sharp nose starts falling towards Mr. Bump with the tip of its nose sparkling. The scene transitions to Mr. Rude fixing the hole in his ceiling. A poking sound is heard indicating that Mr. Bump got poked by the swordfish as the scene transitioned)
Mr. Bump (offscreen): GAAAAH!
(Mr. Rude aligns a nail onto a plank of wood)
Narrator: With a little effort...
(Mr. Rude accidentally hammers his thumb instead of the nail)
Narrator: And maybe...
(Mr. Rude starts jumping up and down as he holds his thumb in excruciating pain)
Narrator: A sore thumb!
(The screen fades to black and the episode ends here)